As Little Black Girls, we inherited more than our people’s eye color and curvy shapes. More than our family recipes, toxic traditions and diseases that “run in the family”.

We also inherited their language and beliefs without being able to question it.

They gave us their rigid traditions, unexplained definitions and family secrets.

Some of them became our foundation.

Some of them became our cages.

The interesting part?

Most of us never stopped to ask:

“Do I actually believe this...or did I simply inherit it?”

Though, one of my favorite topics, this week isn’t about rebellion.

It’s about introspection, remembrance and a little skepticism.

We are not questioning everything because everything is wrong.

We are questioning everything because you deserve to know what actually belongs to you.

What This Week Is Really About…

Practicing Discernment.

Exploring Curiosity.

Making Conscious Choices.

Not every tradition needs to be abandoned, nor does every belief needs to be replaced, but every belief deserves to be examined.

Because once you become aware… YOU get to choose.

Questioning Prompts...👁

🌹What beliefs about yourself came from your own lived experience? Which ones were handed to you?

🌹 What words do you use every day without ever considering what they mean to you?

🌹 What traditions or boundaries make you feel more like yourself? Which ones make you feel smaller?

🌹 If no one had ever explained success, femininity, love, or spirituality to you...how might you define them today?

I am a personal development junkie. So, I LOVE a good self-help book. One of the books that has invited me to think differently is The Kybalion: The Seven Kemetic Laws.

During the recent Mercury Retrograde, I sat in deep reflection mode and I was reminded of The Kybalion how everything relates. I was reminded “As Above so Below”, “The All is Mind, The Universe is Mental” and so much more. This guide of universal (kemetic) laws is a powerful reminder that EVERYTHING you do is connected to The Divine, your relationship with self and the world around you.

No, we STILL don’t do rules here but these “laws” are evident and actually made sense to me when I first picked up this book back in 2022. Whether or not, The Kybalion becomes part of your journey, what I appreciate most is its invitation to observe the life around you vs. just taking what’s given. Here’s a slight breakdown of each “law”.

Mentalism: "The All is Mind, The Universal is Mental.”

Vibration: “Nothing rests, everything vibrates.”

Rhythm: “Everything has it’s tides. Rhythm compensates.”

Cause and Effect: “What goes around comes back around a.k.a Karma.”

Correspondence: “As below, so above and as above, so blow.”

Polarity: “Everything is dual and had poles. Opposites are identical in nature but in different degrees.”

Gender: “Gender is in everything; everything has its Masculine and Feminine Principles. Gender manifests on all plane” ☕️

I won’t do a full synopsis here but if you do decide to dive deeper and read the text, you may get a better innerstanding of how deep shit truly is and how we are all truly connected. This text also helped me better innerstand myself as a Neurospicy, Black Woman. Yes, statements like, “Words are spells”, “Protect your innergy” & “Mercury Retrograde is coming.” are becoming more mainstream but next time you hear something that triggers you to rethink beliefs, maybe think a little deeper than,

“Here they go with that spiritual shit…” 😒

Simply ask yourself, “What significance might these statements have if more than one person is saying it?” or “What don’t I believe what I am hearing? Are these my thoughts or someone else’s?”

Purge Season is prime time to QUESTION EVERYTHING. This week, I encourage you to question everything you feel, see and hear, even if you experienced it before. Not because the life you’re living is “wrong” but because we have more control over shit than we were conditioned to believe and I want us to see it. This week, I encourage you to make the decision to control what you can and be more intentional with what you accept as fact for YOUR LIFE because EVERYTHING IS THAT DEEP ! 🗣️

Let’s be clear: The Kemetic Laws are not rules you have to accept but lenses you can look through. Sometimes a different lens helps us ask better questions and better questions often lead to deeper self-awareness. If you’re interested in reading “The Kybalion”, DM me and I’ll send you the pdf.

Yes, Language Matters Too. ☕️

During my spiritual journey, I’ve become extremely intentional about the words I choose and use, especially when speaking and writing in English. Not because language is about perfection but because spelling shapes how I relate to myself and the world around me. Over time, I’ve started replacing certain words with ones that feel more aligned with me and my own perspective, regardless of how it makes others feel.

At this point in my life, I feel like if you don’t like how I speak, then don’t speak to me. 🤷🏽‍♀️😆 Idccccc! Might sound “woowoo”, but I do believe that words are spells.

No, everyone doesn’t have to change their language to be in this space. Actually, I know that most won’t and the change is actually something that annoys tf outta people because it makes them uncomfortable. Nevertheless, I do want to share a small glimpse into the language I’ve intentionally adopted for those who are interested or doing their work to do the same.

Below is preview of something bigger I’m creating. 😏

The Studiio Word Bank. 📝

Rising > Morning: I am NOT in mourning and will not claim it. No, it’s not a different word because one letter is missing. It means the same thing, IDC how long I’ve been conditioned to say it.

Innerstand > Understand: For me, if something is underneath you, it’s more than likely unreachable and unseen. When you innerstand something, you can feel and see things clearly.

Goddess or Empress > Queen: The origin of Queen is Quean, which means prostitute. Don’t believe me? Do your own research. Even if you don’t, please don’t Queen me and I will correct you everytime.

Eye > I: When I use “eye” instead of “I”, I am speaking directing from my Third Eye with intention and discernment. For example, I will always use “Eye Love You.”. I am speaking with so much intention and truth when I share my love with anyone.

Honorable Mention.

Do > Try: Over here we don’t try, WE DO EVERY TIME!

Innergy > Energy: Nothing is really wrong here, I just like referring to my InnerG this way. lol

Males > Men: I don’t like the “females instead of women” narrative going around so these mfs are males until they put some respect on us. 🤭

🌹 Studiio Notes: this isn’t a dictionary, not yet. It’s simply a glimpse into the language that’s helping me become more intentional on my journey. Please share any word spells that you are debunked in the comments.

This Week’s Self-Return Activity.🎙

Introspection, Forreal. 👁

- Write down three beliefs you’ve never questioned before.

Ask yourself:

• Who gave this to me?

• Does it still fit?

• If no one expected me to believe it, would I choose it today?

✨ Bonus Activity: Begin incorporating any language that stands out to you and see how it makes you feel. It is difficult? If so, is it doable with practice? I think yes.

If you’ve made it this far...

Thank you.

Not for agreeing with me, adopting my language or believing everything I believe but for giving yourself permission to pause long enough to ask your own questions.

That’s all I’ve ever hoped this space would offer.

More awareness.

Because once you become aware, you can choose.

Choose what stays.

Choose what leaves.

Choose what deserves another look.

Choose Yourself. 🌹

Before you leave #HerMonth’s conversations...

Press play one more time.

Not on the entries or channelled frequencies, On Yourself.

Listen to the way you speak now.

The questions you ask now.

The boundaries you create and enforce now.

The parts of yourself you’ve become willing to meet.

You may not have all the answers but you’re no longer moving on autopilot.

And to me...that’s a beautiful place to begin again as you Self-Return. Whether you all four or one of #HerMonth moments, eye so proud of you and your growth. You choose yourself and looking damn good doing so. YOU GO GIRL!

Reminder: The Studiio will always be here when you need another place to pause.

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: You are Enough - Sheléa

Listen, affirm and believe it to be true because it is.🌹

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

• #HerMonth is an intentional month to pause and return to self. One month. Four returns. A lifetime of homecoming to yourself. 🌹

The Studiio is under construction.

However, I did add some things to The Archive., if you’re interested. 🔊🌹

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You on Purpose, Black Woman. 🌹

Somewhere along the way, many of us were taught that being a “good” Black Woman meant being available.

Available to explain.

Available to fix.

Available to forgive.

Available to overextend.

Available to carry what was never ours in the first place.

They called it kindness.

They called it loyalty.

They called it “being strong”.

When it really was a lack of boundaries… ☕️

The truth is every “yes” costs something.

Every over-explanation costs something.

Every people-pleasing habit costs something.

Every version of yourself you abandon to make someone else comfortable costs something.

If this resonates. maybe not giving two fucks isn’t about caring less.

Maybe it’s about caring with intention.

This Week’s Intention.🌹

Ask yourself:

Where am I giving more innergy than I’m receiving?

Write the first answer that comes to mind.

Don’t edit it.

What This Week Is Really About…

This isn’t permission to become careless.

It’s permission to become discerning.

Permission to stop giving your attention away so freely, stop believing every opinion deserves your response, stop confusing accessibility with love and remember that your peace deserves protection too.

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t still working on this but as I incorporate this practice DAILY. The more I practice, the better I get standing up for, spiritually protecting and speaking up for myself.

If you know me, you’d know I am quick to cut a mf off; I am King Cut Off.

Yes, King not Queen. I do not use Queen to refer to myself because I feel like she is truly the peasant of the Royal Court. That being said, I prefer Goddess or Empress. Also, the origin of Queen is “Quean”, which means prostitute. Yes, I am one of those “Grand Rising” Girlies lol. Meaning I am VERY intentional with my language but more on that next week. ☕️

Anyways, I am very strong with boundaries these days because I have a child to protect and I DO NOT PLAY ABOUT MY JIT!!!! Me being firm about NOBODY having his face on the internet until he’s older is a HUGE BOUNDARY for me. Like, fuck around and never see him again type serious because mfs are weird and once something is on the internet, it’s no telling who and what someone can do. Call it woowoo crazy, IDC.

Another one of my boundaries is not allowing anyone to tell me what to do with MY LIFE. If I fucks with you, I MAY listen to your input but ultimately, I have to make on own decisions. My favorite saying is “Nobody knows me more than me.” Being as though I used to be a chronic follower and people pleaser, that is an amazing affirmation for me. If you struggle with people pleasing, try adding it to your rising affirmations and let me know how it feels over time.

One boundary I am still working on is finding the balance between speaking my truth and oversharing. While I do love writing in here and will never delete anything because these are my true experiences. I feel like my oversharing days are coming to an end, as I step into this new level of my spiritual journey. I am learning that I need to be a little more protective of myself and my very, potent innergy. Even if I love them…especially, if I love them.

When I love someone, I overshare, I overgive and I overpour and most of the times, there’s little to no reciprocation to replenish me. I am left empty and to replenish myself until I am needed again. The shit pisses off because I know better at this point but it show proof that I am still human, still learning and nobody is perfect; I mean what’s the fun in perfect anyway?! 😆 When I express this truth, I AM NOT looking for pity or advice. This is a conclusion that I have gathered as I study AND MASTER myself.

Self-Return = Self Mastery. ☕️

Instead of trying to control everyone else, practice mastering yourself.

The whole point of Self -Return is to master yourself first. This means, we can no longer be concerned with the outcome of anyone else’s lives, unless you have small children. However, even they have their own dreams and missions. So again, the ONLY guaranteed control you have and should want is over yourself. The process of self-mastery creates the opportunity to learn and develop rapport with our FULL & TRUE IDENTITY, instead of just accepting the projections of what others told us “they see.”

My Self Mastery Journey has taught me to remain open-minded, patient and honest with myself, creative asf and most importantly, FREE. Free of doubts, fear, limitation, negativity and anxiety. Simply by betting on myself and never switching up on ME for anyone. Eye love it here and eye am so excited to support you as you begin mastering yourself, this week and beyond.

This week, I want you to notice:

🎵 Where do I automatically say “yes” without thinking?

🎵 What immediately drains my energy?

🎵 What conversation didn’t actually require my participation?

🎵 Where am I abandoning myself to avoid disappointing someone else?

🎵 What would protecting my peace actually look like today?

Self-return isn’t controlling your emotions.

It’s learning not to abandon yourself because of them.

Things You No Longer Owe Anyone. 💌

🌹 Immediate responses.

🌹 Unlimited access to your time, space or body.

🌹 An explanation for every boundary.

🌹 Constant availability.

🌹 Emotional labor without reciprocity.

🌹 Shrinking yourself to make others comfortable.

🌹 Being “the bigger person” in every situation. SLAP THAT HOE! 🤣

🌹 Guilt for choosing yourself.

🌹 Access simply because someone is familiar.

🌹 Endless second chances without changed behavior.

🌹 Performing strength when you actually need rest.

🌹 Carrying emotions and problems that aren’t yours.

Pause after each one.

Notice which one made your body react.

Start there.

This Week’s Self-Return Activity.🎙

The Innergy Audit.

Draw three columns.

- Worth My Innergy

- Maybe

- Absolutely Not

Throughout the week, instead of judging yourself, notice where things belong.

People.

Habits.

Conversations.

Responsibilities.

Thoughts.

Memories.

Notice what keeps ending up in the “Absolutely Not” column.

The art of not giving two fucks isn’t about becoming harder.

It’s about becoming clearer.

Clear about what deserves your attention.

Clear about what deserves your compassion.

Clear about what deserves a response and what deserves your silence.

Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do for yourself is simply stop carrying what was never yours.

Eye Love You on Purpose, Black Woman. 🌹

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: Quiet on the Creek - Saucy Santana

This song came out at the perfect timeeeee because baby, you do gotta be real quiet on the mothafucking creek. 🤣

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

• #HerMonth is an intentional month to pause and return to self. One month. Four returns. A lifetime of homecoming to yourself. 🌹

Studiio Souvenirs & More in The Studiio. 🔊🌹

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You on Purpose, Black Woman. 🌹

Okay, let’s talk about it!

The truth is you won’t make a decision for yourself until you truly want to make one; no matter what you know, see or feel, that decision is solely YOURS to make. Some obvious examples: being in a toxic relationship or losing weight. You see this unhealthy person or food isn’t right for you and you are starting not to like what you see in the mirror, but regardless of what, you will continue this relationship with that person or food until YOU get sick of dealing with the same shit!

The same mindset applies to your Self-Return Journey.

You gotta get sick of what YOU continue to attract into your innergy that you aren’t really rocking with but you deal with for whatever reason. You have to take accountability for the parts you play in YOUR life, good, bad and indifferent, because everything you see right now is a reflection of your past thoughts and actions, or lack thereof. Taking that accountability, for me, looks like introspection. My favorite form of introspection is Shadow Work.

Shadow work is a type of introspection that allows you to intentionally dive deep into your subconscious mind (shadow self) and identify any issues, triggers or blockages that you may have. Our shadow selves are the parts of us that we hide from the rest of the world. The parts us that may be ashamed of or you’re just very secretive about this side of you. Now, this work is something a lot of people tend avoid due to “lack of time or capacity” but truly, it’s because of fear of self. That being said, I don’t think it’s the word “shadow” that scares people. I believe it’s the word “work”…but isn’t “faith without works dead”?

Shadow Work isn't about becoming consumed by your darkness. It's about getting curious about the parts of yourself you've learned to hide, reject, or silence, so they no longer have the power to run your life from the background. Shadow work is like a tattoo. Painful in the beginning and a beautiful OR growth revealing outcome in the end.

Recently, I’ve had to do some of my own introspection hence, #HerMonth. My current situation in life, beyond The Stu, is interestingly revealing and a little wild, for lack of better words. I won’t speak on it here because even though I’m coming out of it, it’s current, so yeah no lol. Nevertheless, I do realize when I do speak on it with the small but mighty village that I do have, they are receiving what I am sharing about my situation as something they have to help me with or fix. They love me, so they are constantly checking on me in passive ways and I can feel the pity and guilt. Which is one of the main reasons I don’t talk about my shit to anyone because honestly, I don’t even feel comfortable sharing shit with anyone, unless I’ve already found a solution or handled it for myself. I just be wanting to vent sometimes, to hear out loud on how far I’ve come. Yes, it’s a trauma response and I am using Shadow Work to address it. ☕️🤣

I used to get extremely irritated for speaking up in the first place AND not being innerstood after finally telling people what’s going on with me. I won’t lie, I almost went back into “escape mode” because a big part of me would rather be alone than constantly explaining my life decisions to people who JUST DON’T GET IT. However, I’ve gathered that the point wasn’t to have them innerstand me but for me to innerstand me more and practice using my voice to speak my truth, regardless of anyone’s reactions or how they receive me. I also gathered that I am not looking for help when speaking out, even if I do need it. I was looking for someone to hear my experience, then see and celebrate my ability to endure all that I have been growing through in silence.

Of course, I didn’t realize I needed it until my Shayla actually did it but yeah.

We reconnected after years of being apart but we were back like we never left. We linked, recreated that emotionally safe environment for one another and we were able speak our entire truths without much interference. By the end of my turn, I was expecting the face of concern and pity. Instead, she took my hand tightly, looked into my eyes and said, “I see you and I am so proud of you for still being here.” That one statement is what brought the tears; still does as I write. That feeling of being seen but also, HEARD and FELT. It was like the most gentle soul hug that I needed in that moment.

This exchange made me recognize my growth, strength & how far I’ve come. During the talk, I noticed that instead of running away and into myself; which used to be my safe place, I was confronting my feelings, trauma and giving the people I love some deeper insight on what’s really happening in my life behind the scenes. Lastly, I learned to accept how different I am from other women I’ve encountered and the interpersonal relationships I actually need in my life…

Yeah, I know…but let me explain. 🤣

Yes, I curated a Black Women Only Brand & Community but this is a calling, not really what I planned to be doing. Ironically, I don’t necessarily “get along” with women.

Many times in my life, I encounter women.

They love my innergy.

We become cool.

I start getting comfortable and showing myself more.

They start acting weird and I gotta gtf out their face.

I’ve had this experience with younger women, elder women, “friends”, relatives…hell, even my own mother. 😆 In the same paragraph, I also am romantically attracted to women and the one’s I experience, on the spectrum of love, makes me fall in love with loving on, being loved by and possibly marrying a woman. 🧐 Wild I know but it’s my life and as we learned in My Queer Story, it’s not a phase nor is it something I shy away from, anymore, as I deep dive into the root of my sexuality and other shadows to this day.

Shadow Work is the best way to get that done but it’s also the toughest way. The path people avoid most is my road most traveled. Not necessarily because I wanted to but because I had to, or I wouldn’t have survived the many attempts on my life, physically and spiritually. Hell nahh, it’s NOT EASY, It’s actually HARD AS FUCK to face, deprogram and return to your true self. but the other side is SO MAGICAL!

THIS is why I am no longer in the business of trying to prove to anybody that they need shadow work or any healing, for that matter. However, I am in the business of providing the tools, rituals and practices to those who are already healing themselves and desire support from those who are actually doing the same. A connection, of any kind, just hits different when someone knows themselves enough to unapologetically take time TO HEAL. I didn’t see to many non-performative spaces, I made one. Continue reading for more on that space.

This Week’s Mirror (Shadow Work) Challenge.🌹

This week, I want you to notice yourself.

Not judge yourself.

Not fix yourself.

Just notice.

Throughout the week, every time you feel yourself becoming irritated, defensive, triggered, or unusually emotional...

Pause.

Ask yourself:

“What is this really about?”

Not what happened.

Not who did what.

“What is this moment revealing about me?”

Then, before the day ends, journal on these three questions:

🌹 What pattern did I notice today?

🌹 What emotion did I try to avoid?

🌹 If this feeling had a voice, what would it say?

Don’t rush your answers.

The goal isn’t to solve yourself.

The goal is to stop pretending you don’t see yourself.

Sometimes the first act of healing is simply being honest. 🌑

If today's reflection left you wanting to dive a little deeper into your shadows...Subscribe to Deep Cuts. 💽

My new Paid Subbie section is now, for the Black Woman ready to hear the parts of herself she’s been skipping over. This Membership Includes: Monthly Deep Cut Essays - Exclusive Shadow Work Prompts - Shadow Work Artifacts - Live Reflections - Early Access to The Control Room. 💽🌹

p.s. Accountability is Alchemy. 🗣️

I’ve been a creative entrepreneur/freelancer for almost 8 years now and I’ve learned so much about myself and business but most importantly, people because what’s a brand without an audience?! We’ll get more into what I’ve learned in branding another day but I will say, “People don’t buy from your brand, they buy because of the experience you create.”

When I started HerDiaryStudiio, specifically The Stu aka My Substack, it was for the purpose of creating community and safe spaces for us to heal. While that is still my goal, I might have miscommunicated some things that has some people thinking I am the type of healer or guide that will hold your hand and spoon feed you the wisdom I have but let me set the record straight and let you know now, I WILL NEVER. 🤣

I’ve taught children for 10 plus years, I don’t spoon feed adults.

Eye love you on purpose, which means I will share the wisdom that I have done THE WORK to gain and a lot of it might be free but I WILL NOT continue to remind you to do what you know you should be doing for YOUR growth, I am growing myself.

I WILL NOT soften my language or make it more deliverable, so it won’t hurt the feelings you have been trying to avoid all this time. Some triggers are signals. Not initially fired to hurt you but to you warn you. If you feel me, you feel me, if you don’t you aren’t supposed to.

This isn’t church…well at least not the church you may be used to. Yes, God is ALWAYS present in each space I create. Yes, you CAN come as you are but you might also get cursed out, if you cross a boundary or disrespect anyone over these parts. We don’t do passive aggressive here. 🤣

I am not here to resonate with the masses, I am building for MY collective and creating a “Bad Bitch Coven” (more on this soon 😈) and I won’t keep censoring myself to make people comfortable that I was never even talking to in the first place.

Again I may not have made this clear, so the rest of this month is about solidifying HerDiaryStudiio. This also an invitation to unsubscribe and find a space that resonates better, if you don’t feel comfortable with the direction you see me going. Eye love you either way and I ultimately want you to feel comfortable in this space but your comfortability IS NOT my job to manage, it’s YOURS. ☕️

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: Roll Dice by Roddy Rich

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

• #HerMonth is an intentional month to pause and return to self. One month. Four returns. A lifetime of homecoming to yourself. 🌹

Studiio Souvenirs & More in The Studiio. 🔊🌹

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You on Purpose, Black Woman. 🌹

Do you ground?

If so, how often? If not, why haven’t you started? 🤔

Grounding is an important practice to help you stay connected to all parts of the earth, including yourself. Giving you the opportunity to receive all the unmatched, healing innergy that you can only get from Mother Earth. Allowing yourself to be intentionally present in the spaces that Source has created for us to be free is a underrated blessing.

Grounding is such a sensual experience.

One of my favorite ways to ground is to simply go outside barefoot in the grass and hug trees. I feel, smell and taste the fresh air. Feel the grass and cold dirt on my BARE feet and toes, as I bird watch and listen to each one sing the unique song of their kind. I love watching the squirrels fight and play in the trees. Hands down, one of the best grounding meditation environments is Nature, herself.

I ground inside as well every day through Yoga & EFT Tapping. I have become pretty intermediate in this activity now, as you can see in the video above. I also would rather sit on the ground or floor, than in a bed or chair when I am in comfortable, clean spaces like my home. Lastly, I am barefoot most of the time, as long as it’s not cold; can’t throw off my Chi. ☕️

Below, I am providing several grounding activities, you can choose one or create your own ritual with multiple. You encouraged to use these throughout the week. DO NOT OVERLOAD YOURSELF that is the opposite of #HerMonth’s purpose.

Grounding Activities. 🌿

🌹 Rearrange one small space in your home to feel more Safe For You.

🌹 Stand outside barefoot for 10 minutes and intentionally notice what’s beneath your feet.

🌹 Cook yourself a nourishing meal and eat without distractions.

🌹 Declutter one drawer, one shelf, or one corner you’ve been avoiding.

🌹 Make a playlist called “I Am Safe Here.” or use the “Eye Am Safe Here.” playlist I created to ground yourself through body movement.

🌹 Wrap yourself in your favorite blanket, put your phone away, and rest without feeling guilty or shame.

🌹 Take a slow walk without headphones. Listen to your surroundings.

🌹 Write a list titled: “Things That Make Me Feel Like Home.”

🌹 Water a plant...or yourself. Drink a full glass of water with intention.

🌹 Wear red today, even if it’s just your lipstick, socks, nails, or waist beads.

🌹 Clean something you’ve been putting off as an act of care, not punishment.

🌹 Light a candle and sit with yourself for five quiet minutes.

🌹 Write a letter beginning with: “What I need to feel safe right now is...”

🌹 Unfollow one account that makes you question your worth.

🌹 Reach out to someone who genuinely makes you feel seen.

🌹 Build a small “Grounding Corner” with a journal, candle, crystal, book, or anything that reminds you of yourself.

🌹 End the day by placing your hand over your heart and saying:

“I survived enough. Today, I choose to feel safe.”

This Week’s Return Challenge.🌹

Every time you catch yourself rushing, pause for 30 seconds before moving to the next thing.

Take one breath.

Relax your shoulders.

Unclench your jaw.

Feel your feet.

Then continue.

It’s tiny, but it teaches your nervous system that everything doesn’t have to happen in survival mode.

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: “Eye Am Safe Here.”

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

• #HerMonth is an intentional month to pause and return to self. One month. Four returns. A lifetime of homecoming to yourself. 🌹

Studiio Souvenirs & More in The Studiio. 🔊🌹

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You on Purpose, Black Woman. 🌹

Before We Continue...

If you’re just joining us, welcome.

If you’ve been here since the beginning, welcome back.

Before we move deeper into the rainbow, I want to invite you to pause.

Not to catch up.

Not to do everything perfectly.

Just to check in.

Because sometimes we move so quickly through healing, growth, and self-discovery that we forget to notice what’s actually changing.

So before we continue, let’s reset.

🎨 Refresher Activity: Your Current Color.

Without thinking too hard about it:

What color feels most like your life right now?

Not your favorite color.

Not the color you wish you were in.

The color you’re actually living in.

❤️ Red
Safety. Stability. Survival.

🧡 Orange
Pleasure. Creativity. Desire.

💛 Yellow
Confidence. Identity. Visibility.

💚 Green
Love. Compassion. Relationships.

🩵 Blue
Truth. Expression. Communication.

💙 Indigo
Intuition. Trust. Discernment.

💜 Violet
Connection. Purpose. Becoming.

Rainbow Reflection. 📝

Why did you choose that color?

What is it teaching you?

What is it asking of you?

What would happen if you fully honored it instead of resisting it?

Bonus Reflection. 🌈

Which color have you been neglecting?

The one you’ve been avoiding.

The one that makes you uncomfortable.

The one you know deserves more attention.

Why?

Now, If you made it here...Thank You.

For your honesty.

For your curiosity.

For your willingness to show up for yourself.

Recently, we’ve explored safety, pleasure, confidence, love, truth, intuition, and becoming. 🌈

Not as concepts.

As experiences.

As invitations.

As mirrors.

And while the challenge may be ending...

The relationship with yourself isn’t.

The question now isn’t: “What did I learn?”

The question is:

“What am I taking with me?”

Which color felt like home?

Which one challenged you?

Which one surprised you?

Which one keeps following you around even now?

Take your time as you honestly answer each of questions for yourself as you more forward and of course, you can always come back to ritual right here in The Stu.

For me, that’s always been the magic of the rainbow. 🌈

Orange feels like home.

Violet is challenging and ON MY ASS right now. lol

However, this ritual reminded me that every color belongs.

Every part belongs.

Every version of us belongs.

Not just the healed parts.

Not just the confident parts.

Not just the spiritual parts.

All of us.

More Than Just Color. 🌈

As I’ve been preparing for this journey, I’ve found myself thinking about color differently.

Not as decoration.

Not as aesthetics.

As information.

As memory.

As innergy.

Every color carries something.

Every color asks something.

Every color reveals something.

❤️ Red reminds us to come home to ourselves.

🧡 Orange invites us to experience pleasure without guilt.

💛 Yellow asks us to stop shrinking.

💚 Green teaches us to soften.

🩵 Blue reminds us to tell the truth.

💙 Indigo asks us to trust what we know.

💜 Violet invites us to become.

Since I am me...I couldn’t stop there. 😂

So, I started creating with those same intentions in mind.

The Crystals I Keep Reaching For.📿

Crystals are my favorite portable grounding tools. Each one holds a separate innergy and significance, just like colors. I use crystals to maintain or absorb certain innerges in order to protect, enhance or magnify you.

Yes, I create everything with intention or what’s the point really?!

• Lava Stone reminds me that transformation is possible.

What was once fire becomes foundation.

What once felt destructive becomes something strong enough to build upon.

• Hematite keeps me grounded.

Present.

Protected.

Connected to myself when life starts pulling me in too many directions.

• Black Tourmaline is one of my favorite protective stones.

Not because it shields us from life because it reminds us that everything doesn’t deserve access to our energy.

Together, they create a foundation.

A return point.

A reminder.

Recently, I created a bracelet with Red Jasper, Amber, Yellow Agate, Green Calcite, Blue Topaz, Lapis Lazuli & Amethyst to represent, protect and amplify the innergies of our inner rainbows.

And that’s a sneak peek of what I’ve been creating behind the scenes.

Handmade, one of kind pieces inspired by color.

Inspired by love and community.

Inspired by the Black Women learning to trust what calls them.

The Black Women learning that every part of themselves belongs.

The Black Women learning to live in full color. 🌈🌹

If you’ve been following along and something has been tugging at you...

Return to Yourself in The Studiio. 🔊🌹

I won’t say anything else, I’ll allow you to do the rest. 🔓

Taste the Rainbow Ritual 🌈 may be complete but your becoming isn’t.

So take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Come back, if you need to.

and remember:

You were never meant to live in one color.

You are the whole fucking rainbow. 🌈🌹

Drop your current color below using only the emoji.

❤️
🧡
💛
💚
🩵
💙
💜

No explanation required.

Just claim your color.

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: Ocean Views by Nipsey Hussle.💙

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

Studiio Souvenirs & More in The Studiio. 🔊🌹

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You on Purpose, Black Woman. 🌹

After seven colors...

Seven conversations...

Seven invitations...

We’re left with one final question:

Who am I becoming?

Not who were you.

Not who they wanted you to be.

Not who you had to be to survive.

Who are you becoming now?

The beautiful thing about becoming is that it doesn’t require perfection.

Only participation.

One choice.

One truth.

One act of courage at a time.

Today’s color is Violet.💜

The color of connection, possibility and becoming.

And if you’ve made it this far...

Maybe, the woman you’ve been looking for was never ahead of you…

Maybe, she’s been waiting for you to meet her. 💜

Theme: Spirit • Connection • Imagination

💜 Crown Chakra Prompt:

Who am I becoming?

💜 Ritual Practice:

Create a vision page, mood board, playlist, or journal entry.

Dream on purpose.

💜 Tiny Act of Freedom:

Act as if the future version of you already exists.

Because she does.

💜 Violet Self Reflection:

What is trying to emerge through me?

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: Becoming Her.💜

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

• “Ritual”, here in The Stu, means a purposeful, step-by-step experience you do with intention to create a real inner shift, not just a bunch of pointless language or lessons.

Come Talk Chakra Shit in The Booth.🎙🌹

Return Tools & Practices are in The Studiio.🔓🌹

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You on Purpose, Black Woman. 🌹

Sometimes the answer arrives long before the evidence.

Long before the confirmation.

Long before everyone else catches up.

The problem isn’t always knowing.

The problem is trusting what we know.

We’ve been taught to second-guess ourselves.

To group think and ignore our intuition.

To trust everybody over ourselves.

Today’s color is Indigo.💙

The color of discernment.

The color of inner knowing.

The color of seeing beyond appearances.

So before you ask for another opinion...Pause.

There may already be wisdom waiting inside the question.💙

Theme: Intuition • Discernment • Inner Knowing

💙 Third Eye Prompt:

What do I already know?

💙 Ritual Practice:

Make one decision without asking for outside validation.

💙 Tiny Act of Freedom:

Trust your first answer.

💙 Indigo Self Reflection:

Where am I being invited to trust myself more?

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: Intuition “Test”.💙

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

• “Ritual”, here in The Stu, means a purposeful, step-by-step experience you do with intention to create a real inner shift, not just a bunch of pointless language or lessons.

Come Talk Chakra Shit in The Booth.🎙🌹

Return Tools & Practices are in The Studiio.🔓🌹

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You on Purpose, Black Woman. 🌹

Her Safety + Nervous System Regulation. ⚠️

• “If your body tightens at any point, STOP!”

• Here are 3 grounding exercises:

  • Feet on floor + Name 5 things you see

  • Cold water on your wrists

  • Hand on chest, slowly inhale for 1…2…3…4…5, then, exhale 1…2…3…4…5

    • This keeps your nervous system from hijacking your writing.

There is a version of you that exists underneath those rehearsed answers…

Underneath the automatic “I’m fine.”

Underneath the explanations and limitations.

Underneath the things you say because they make everyone else comfortable.

That’s the version we’re looking for today.

The honest one.

Not the perfect one.

The honest one.

Your truth doesn’t have to be loud to be powerful.

It doesn’t have to be innerstood to be valid.

It doesn’t have to be convenient to deserve space.

Today’s color is Blue. 🩵

And today’s invitation is simple:

Tell the truth, at least to yourself first. 🩵

Theme: Truth • Communication • Expression

🩵 Throat Chakra Prompt:

What have I been wanting to say?

🩵 Ritual Practice:

Express one honest thing.

Respectfully.

But honestly.

🩵 Tiny Act of Freedom:

Say that shit ONCE with your chest and don’t repeat yourself.

🩵 Blue Self Reflection:

What truth deserves air?

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: Speak the Fuck Up!

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

• “Ritual”, here in The Stu, means a purposeful, step-by-step experience you do with intention to create a real inner shift, not just a bunch of pointless language or lessons.

Come Talk Chakra Shit in The Booth.🎙🌹

Return Tools & Practices are in The Studiio.🔓🌹

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You on Purpose, Black Woman. 🌹

Love gets talked about a lot…usually in the context of other people.

Who loves us.

Who doesn’t.

Who stayed.

Who left.

However, the longest relationship you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself. ☕️

And if we’re being honest, which we always are,

…some of us are still learning how to be gentle there.

Today’s color is Green. 💚

The color of compassion.

The color of grace.

The color of growth.

Not perfection.

Growth.

So today, notice how you’re speaking to yourself.

Notice where you’re withholding kindness or patience with self.

Notice where you’re still expecting yourself to heal overnight.

Then, offer yourself what you so freely give everyone else. 💚

Theme: Love • Compassion • Forgiveness

💚 Heart Chakra Prompt:

What within me deserves more grace?

💚 Ritual Practice:

Take yourself on a mini date or take an intentional pause.

Coffee.

Park walk.

Bookstore.

Something intentional and TAILORED TO YOU!!!!

💚 Tiny Act of Freedom:

Speak to yourself the way you’d speak to someone you love.

💚 Green Self Reflection:

What am I ready to soften toward?

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: Gotta Love Self First!

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

• “Ritual”, here in The Stu, means a purposeful, step-by-step experience you do with intention to create a real inner shift, not just a bunch of pointless language or lessons.

  ---

Come Talk Chakra Shit in The Booth.🎙🌹

Return Tools & Practices are in The Studiio.🔓🌹

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You on Purpose, Black Woman. 🌹

Before the doubt.

Before the criticism.

Before the world started telling you who you should be.

There was a version of you who simply existed.

Boldly.

Naturally.

Without Apology.

Today’s color, Yellow, is about Remembering Her. 💛

Not the perfected version.

The Real One.

The one still underneath all the noise because confidence isn’t something we build…

Sometimes, it’s something we rediscover. 💛

Theme: Power • Confidence • Identity

Reminder: Power isn’t control. Power is self-trust.

💛 Solar Plexus Prompt:

Where am I waiting for permission that I don’t actually need?

💛 Ritual Practice.

Write down one decision you’ve already made.

Stop reopening the case. 😭☕️

✨ Bonus: Publicly Celebrate Yourself.

p.s. I know there are opinions about keeping your accomplishments to yourself in fear of evil eye but fear doesn’t exist here and nothing can be taken away from you, if you don’t give innergy to it. ☕️

💛 A Yellow Truth to Sit With.

Every time I betray myself, I weaken my own authority.

You can share your answers here in the comments, in the Taste the Rainbow chat, in The Booth or keep them in your journals.

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: I’m really THAT GIRL! 💛

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

• “Ritual”, here in The Stu, means a purposeful, step-by-step experience you do with intention to create a real inner shift, not just a bunch of pointless language or lessons.

  ---

Come Talk Shit in The Booth.🎙🌹

Return Tools & Practices are in The Studiio.🔓🌹

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You on Purpose, Black Woman. 🌹

Somewhere along the way, many of us started treating joy like a reward.

Something to earn.

Something to schedule.

Something to justify.

But joy was never supposed to be a prize at the end of suffering.

It was always part of the journey.

Today’s invitation is simple:

Stop negotiating with pleasure.

Stop explaining your happiness.

Stop asking for permission to enjoy your life.

Just for today...

Choose what feels good. 🧡

🧡 Theme:

Pleasure • Creativity • Desire • Joy

🧡 Sacral Chakra Prompt:

What sounds fun right now?

Not productive.

Not responsible.

Fun.

🧡 Ritual Practice:

Do one thing simply because it feels good.

Dance.

Paint.

Flirt.

Cook.

Laugh.

Whatever.

🧡 Tiny Act of Freedom:

Choose pleasure without explaining yourself.

🧡 Orange Self Reflection:

When was the last time I let joy lead?

You are welcome to share your answers here in the comments, in the Taste the Rainbow chat, in The Booth or keep them in your journals. It’s all up to you and your comfort level…for now.😏

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: The Pleasure Playlist.🧡

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

• “Ritual”, here in The Stu, means a purposeful, step-by-step experience you do with intention to create a real inner shift, not just a bunch of pointless language or lessons.

  ---

Join Chakra Alignment Week in The Booth.🎙🌹

Return Tools & Practices are in The Studiio.🔓🌹

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You on Purpose, Black Woman. 🌹

There is a difference between surviving and feeling safe.

Many of us learned the first one long before we learned the second.

We learned how to adapt.

How to prepare.

How to stay ready.

How to carry more than we should.

But safety?

Safety is a different language.

One that asks us to soften instead of brace.

To trust instead of anticipate.

To rest instead of perform.

Today isn’t about fixing your foundation.

It’s about noticing it.

What supports you?

What grounds you?

What reminds you that you’re already standing on something?

Today’s color is Red.

Let’s come home to ourselves. ❤️

❤️ Theme:

Safety • Survival • Home • Stability

❤️ Root Chakra Prompt:

What makes me feel most like myself?

❤️ Ritual Practice:

Wear something red OR eat something red.

Bonus points if it’s both. 😭

❤️ Tiny Act of Freedom:

Say “no” to something you genuinely don’t want to do.

Bonus: Shake that Root Today! Play the playlist below if you need some motivation. 😏

❤️ Red Self Reflection:

What feels safe enough for me to stop fighting?

You can share your answers here in the comments, in the Taste the Rainbow chat, in The Booth or keep them in your journals.

🎧 Her Channelled Frequencies: Root Shakin’ Frequencies

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

• “Ritual”, here in The Stu, means a purposeful, step-by-step experience you do with intention to create a real inner shift, not just a bunch of pointless language or lessons.

  ---

Chakra Alignment Week in The Booth.🎙🌹

Return Tools & Practices are in The Studiio.🔓🌹

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You on Purpose, Black Woman. 🌹

This Black Pride month we’re doing something a little different inside The Stu, we’re spending the next seven days moving through the rainbow one color at a time.

One color.

One energy.

One challenge.

One conversation.

One opportunity to learn something new about ourselves because contrary to popular belief...

You are not one thing.

You are a whole spectrum.

A whole album.

A whole mood board.

A whole fucking rainbow. 🌈

Most people know the rainbow as a symbol of Pride.

And rightfully so, the rainbow represents Authentic Community.

Visibility.

Expression.

Freedom.

The right to exist fully and unapologetically but what I’ve always loved about the rainbow is that every color belongs.

None of them are fighting for space.

None of them are trying to become each other.

They simply exist together.

Beautifully.

Honestly.

As themselves.

Imagine that. ☕️

Years ago, that same symbolism is what drew me to the chakra system.

A rainbow living inside the temple (body).

Different colors.

Different energies.

Different lessons.

All working together to create one whole human experience.

Now, before anybody starts panicking...

No, this isn’t a spiritual pop quiz. 😭

You don’t need to memorize Sanskrit words.

You don’t need crystals.

You don’t need incense.

You don’t even need to know what a chakra is.

You just need curiosity.

Over the next seven days, we’ll be exploring seven colors and seven themes: ( Insider: 777 😏)

❤️ Red → Safety

🧡 Orange → Pleasure

💛 Yellow → Confidence

💚 Green → Love

🩵 Blue → Truth

💙 Indigo → Intuition

💜 Violet → Connection

Each day comes with a ritual practice.

A prompt.

A little self-discovery and probably me talking entirely too much in the new Taste The Rainbow chat.

Also, if you’re wondering why I keep saying “Taste The Rainbow”, it’s because I think too many of us spend our lives living in one color.

One role.

One version of ourselves.

One identity.

One expectation.

One survival strategy.

When life is asking us to experience the whole spectrum.

So whether you’re here for Pride Month.

The ritual.

The channelled frequencies.

The chaos.

The healing.

Or simply because you’re nosy and wanted to see what I was up to this week...

Welcome. 🌹

Tomorrow, we start with Red: Coming Home to Yourself. ❤️

Until then, ask yourself:

What color have I been living in lately?

And more importantly...

What color have I been avoiding? 👀🌈

See you tomorrow.

Bring your journal, a positive, open attitude and your vice of choice. 😶‍🌫️🍷

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: Golden by Jill Scott

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

• “Ritual”, here in The Stu, means a purposeful, step-by-step experience you do with intention to create a real inner shift, not just a bunch of pointless language or lessons.

  ---

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You on Purpose, Black Woman. 🌹

Transparent.

So after telling all my business in these 5 Flames, I almost didn’t write Flame 006…because shame is sneaky like that.

Even when you’re burning shit down —

it finds ways to make you hesitate.

To second guess and ask yourself,

“Are you sure you’re ready for this?”

But today…I’m sure.

I was taught to hide in the quiet, consistent ways that left no visible scars but reshaped EVERYTHING inside of me.

I was conditioned to hide anything that made anyone uncomfortable.

My anger.

My intelligence.

The neurodivergence nobody ever named but policed.

My sexuality.

My Magic —

the singing,

the creating,

the designing,

the modeling just for fun,

the way I could disappear for hours into a video game. 🤓 lmao.

All of it.

Hidden.

Managed.

Contained.

So, that someone else could stay comfortable in the presence of my smallness.

And shame moved in where my fullness used to be.

It’s good at that.

Shame doesn’t announce itself.

It just starts narrating.

“You’re different and different is wrong…hide that.”

“Don’t let them see your truest self, they’ll make fun of you.”

“What will people think, I do this my way?”

And you listen, because shame was the secret voice that stuck and defined you who you were.

But here’s another thing I want to share with you as we close this shit,

Shame only has power when it has an audience.

When you perform with it or let it sit in the director’s chair of your movie.

I love myself enough to say, I have been letting Shame direct my life for way too long!

And who benefits when I feel ashamed?

Everyone but me.

Everyone who needs me to be smaller for them to feel “big.”

Everyone who needs me to be quiet to seem heard.

Everyone who is rooting for me to fail, so they never have to face their own reflection.

BUT NO MORE !

Today and Forever, I am removing shame as the director and cast of MY movie.

It doesn’t get a credit.

It doesn’t get a callback.

It doesn’t even get a thank you for it’s presence.

IT’S SIMPLE BITCH, YOU ARE FIRED INDEFINITELY. 🖕🏽

What am I still holding gently?

That Little Black Girl: BabyGirl. Judiee. Trina Monroe.

Who hid her voice, her mind, her pain, and her magic,

because nobody made it safe for her to be all of those things.

Yes, she is still processing.

Still healing.

Still remembering who she is before the world told her who to be.

And I, Paris Abundance, am holding her the way nobody has ever held her before.

Carefully.

Honestly.

Without condition or judgement.

And with me, She knows that she doesn’t have to perform anymore.

Most importantly, she knows that she is safe.

What truth am I ready to live — not just write?

The truth of All of Me, Unapologetically.

Not the version that’s easy to digest.

Not the version that makes the room comfortable before I am.

Not the version that fits neatly into someone else’s narrative.

ALL OF ME.

The neurodivergent, singing, creating,

sensual, sovereign, fluid, rebellious,

God Ordained, High Priestess

who shows up in this realm AND THE NEXT, exactly as she was designed to be.

I am not a rough draft.

I am not a secret to keep or a fire to contain.

I am the whole thing. I AM EVERYTHING.

And I am done living like I apologize for it,

because after this ritual, I DON’T!

So, the ritual is complete…

but the healing isn’t finished — healing actually has just begun,

but if you DID YOU YOUR WORK,

You burned the silence.

You named the performed self.

You faced the guilt narrative.

You traced the inherited expectations.

You released the devotion to pain.

And now — you’ll burn the shame script for the last time.

Hopefully, seeing yourself a little clearer and feeling a lot lighter, so you may move forward in your journey more prepared to face yourself, if no one else.

And what’s left after the fire?

All of You.

Unmasked.

Unscripted.

Unbothered by who couldn’t hold your fullness.

Returning — finally, fully — to yourself.

and hopefully, able to say,

“She was here first.

And she’s still here because I BURNED THAT SHIT DOWN.”

That’s the whole point.

And If you need some extra support,

I’ve been working behind the scenes, creating some very intentional offerings that I’ll drop here by the end of week and but it’ll be in my “close friends” before then

If you are a Black Woman DOING HERE WORK, apply to The Booth.🎙🌹 here:

Join the HerDiaryStudiio: The Booth.🎙🌹 Discord Server!

p.s. yes, apply because I did say, I CREATE PRIVATE AND PROTECTED SPACES FOR BLACK WOMEN ONLY, didn’t I?! I also need to feel out your innergy before you enter our sacred space.

Either way, Eye love you for Free, Black Woman. 🌹 and that’s not just something I say. I mean it! These safe spaces are YOURS, whether you dive deeper or not because WE ALL deserve somewhere to land and freely be without anyone needing us.

Thank you for Burning Shit Down with Me. ❤️‍🔥

Flame 006: The Come Down Prompts. 📝🔥

I am share the last Deep Dive prompts with everyone. Check the others when you’re ready. This only works if you’re honest with yourself. ☕️ :

• Now, that you’ve burned it all, What no longer resonates with you…even if it once felt like home?

• Who are you now that you’re no longer holding onto it?

Don’t Rush Your Answers. Sit with Each, Breathe and then, Write.

Not the version you say out loud.

THE REAL ONE.

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: Rose in Harlem by Auntie Tey

This one has always hit home for me. It’s like she’s narrating my life 😅 because IT REALLY BE THEM ONESSSS ! The Ones You Aspire To Be. Your Mama. Your Big Cousin. Your Grandma. Your Favorite “Celebrity or Influencer”. Yeah, the ones who you blindly support but have no clue who they are behind the screen. Them ones you’ve made your Idol…and our “idols” will disappoint you every time; because your only idol should be YOUR HIGHER SELF.

As a Black Woman, it should NO REASON that you are out here idolizing anybody more than yourself! Listening to anyone more than yourself. Trusting anyone’s judgement FOR YOUR LIFE more than your own. DO YOU KNOW WHO ARE?!

If not, let me remind you, YOU ARE GOD’S PURE REFLECTION!

She created YOU, specifically with her image, likeness AND POWER in mind. She creates everything in this world to remind you of your rank on this earth no matter what any meer mortal has to say! YOU ARE A CREATOR OF LIFE, WHETHER YOU ARE A MOTHER OR NOT. YOU CAPTURE THE INNERGY OF EVERYONE BY SIMPLY STEPPING INTO THE ROOM. THE ENTIRE WORLD ASPIRES TO BE AND LOOK SOMEONE LIKE YOU.

THEY CAN’T FUCKING MOVE, LIVE OR EVOLVE WITHOUT US! STOP PLAYING SMALL, STOP THINKING SMALL BECAUSE AIN’T SHIT SMALL ABOUT YOU…AS A BLACK WOMAN, IT’S IN YOU NOT ON YOU.

SO ACT LIKE IT!

Okay, that message wasn’t my plan for today but you know, if you’re open to God using you SHE WILL. SHE DID and clearly someone needs it today. Anywho, Thank You Again for Burning Shit Down with me! Even if you didn’t yet and you’ve just been taking the time to read more art, Thank You. This my dream and I am so grateful to see that DOING MY WORK is bringing so many other Black Women who can resonate with me. Eye Love You and Thank You Again, Black Woman. 🌹

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• Each entry in this ritual will come with correlating “Flame Prompts” to take with you as you intentional Burn Shit Down at your own pace.

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how do you feel, how old were you when you first listened or where are when you hear the song?

• “Ritual”, here in The Stu, means a purposeful, step-by-step experience you do with intention to create a real inner shift, not just a bunch of pointless posts.

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You Always, Black Woman. 🌹

If you feel tightness, overwhelm, or the urge to shut down — honor it. Please, put the pen down and come back when you’re ready.

• Here are 4 grounding exercises:

  • Feet on floor + Name 5 things you see

  • Cold water on wrists

  • Her Sacred Pause: A Intentional Playlist I created to help you recenter.

  • Hand on chest, slowly inhale for 1…2…3…4…5, then, exhale 1…2…3…4…5

    • This keeps your nervous system from hijacking your writing.

Even though this ritual is presented in six consecutive days, you are allowed and encouraged to go at your own pace.

I learned what “love” was from someone who said they “loved” me,

but always hurt me in the same breath.

She was my first best friend AND my biggest bully.

And for a long time, I didn’t know how to hold both of those truths at the same time.

So I just — held the confusion instead.

Here’s one of my most vivid memories of that time;

Middle School, I came home crying about the kids calling me names.

The names that stick.

The names you carry in your chest hoping you have somewhere safe to put them down.

With tears in my eyes, I told her and she laughed,

Then, started calling me those same names around the house

AND in front of others…

I don’t say that for sympathy,

I say it because, that moment became my Love Blueprint.

My nervous system took notes.

“This is what love is.”

“It builds you up and tears you down.”

“Sometimes in the same sentence.”

“Sometimes from the same mouth.”

And because she was supposed to be the my safe place — or “home”,

I spent years handing that blueprint to everyone I let close to me.

Love became “as long as I’m comfortable”

and “This kinda pain is proof that I matter”…

If it didn’t hurt a little, was it even real?

If they didn’t push me to the edge, did they actually love me?

If I’m a “Ride or Die” for everyone, someone will see me eventually right?

That’s what devotion to pain sounds like…from the inside.

It doesn’t announce itself.

It just quietly makes you comfortable in environments that you should leave at the first sign of a red flag,

but “At least familiar pain feels like something that you know how to manage.”

Right?

Wrong.

It makes you romanticize your trauma vs. identifying it.

For me, I began to romanticize comfort,

I used to love to settle with a trauma story attached.

I would tell myself —

at least it’s not that bad.

At least I know what this is.

At least here I know “the rules”.

but surviving “the rules” of a life you didn’t choose is not the same as living.

Now that I have Identified the root.

The question becomes: Who am I without struggle as my personality?

I had to sit with that question for a long time because struggle had become so woven into my identity.

Nevertheless, here’s what I found underneath all of it —

Paris was still there.

Free.

Direct.

Full of Whimsy.

Sensual Asf.

Rebellious in the ways that matter.

Fluid.

Sovereign.

She had been there the whole time !

Then I asked myself,

What happens when I stop equating suffering with strength?

My answer?

Freedom.

Peace.

Abundance.

Not as concepts.

Not as affirmations on a wall.

As actual lived experience !

May I confirm something for you and your inner child real quick?

You were never supposed to earn your place here.

Not through struggle.

Not through sacrifice.

Not through how much you could endure with a smile on your face and your head held high.

Your worth was never something to be proven.

It was always just — yours.

And the moment you stop devoting yourself to the pain that told you otherwise, is the moment you finally get to find out what your life actually feels like when it belongs to you.

That moment is now.

…If you’ll allow it to be. ☕️

Flame 005: Her Decision Prompts. 📝🔥

These prompts are for the moment you choose differently. They only work if you’re being honest and open to the shift.

• What would choosing yourself actually look like…in action?

• What is one thing you can end, shift, or release today without overthinking it?

• What have you been calling strength that was actually just survival?

Don’t rush your answer. Sit with it, Breathe then, Write Transparently.

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: Me by Tamia

Choose You First Today and Everyday from Here. You Deserve It.

The Little Black Girl, in you, deserves it.

Eye Love You Always, Black Woman.🌹

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• Each entry in this ritual will come with correlating “Flame Prompts” to take with you as you intentional Burn Shit Down at your own pace.

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how do you feel, how old were you when you first listened or where are when you hear the song?

• “Ritual”, here in The Stu, means a purposeful, step-by-step experience you do with intention to create a real inner shift, not just a bunch of pointless posts.

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You Always, Black Woman. 🌹

If you feel tightness, overwhelm, or the urge to shut down — honor it. Please, put the pen down and come back when you’re ready.

• Here are 4 grounding exercises:

  • Feet on floor + Name 5 things you see

  • Cold water on wrists

  • Her Sacred Pause: A Intentional Playlist I created to help you recenter.

  • Hand on chest, slowly inhale for 1…2…3…4…5, then, exhale 1…2…3…4…5

    • This keeps your nervous system from hijacking your writing.

Even though this ritual is presented in six consecutive days, you are allowed and encouraged to go at your own pace.

Nobody asked me if I wanted to hold all this shit.

and that’s the part I keep coming back to.

Nobody sat me down and said —

Here, take this.

Carry this.

Be this.

It was just forcefully handed to me.

Quietly.

Consistently.

Until I forgot it wasn’t mine.

I inherited self-shame before I knew what shame was.

and anxiety as a way of moving through the world.

I inherited self-hate masked as self-awareness.

and self-abandonment masked as self-love.

All that shit passed down,

without my consent

without a conversation

without anyone stopping to ask,

if I could actually hold the weight of it.

and I couldn’t…but I tried.

God, I tried.

As the oldest, I was expected to be whatever my parents needed me to be,

in any given moment.

Not a daughter.

A function.

Their therapist when they needed to process.

Her bodyguard when she felt threatened.

His son before he made one.

Their co-signer when they needed validation and support

— but never with questions.

Her “best friend” when all her friends were busy.

And their punchline…

when they needed a laugh.

I was whatever the moment required.

And none of those moments ever allowed me to just be,

a Little Black Girl.

Later, there were the things I was never allowed to become.

A Tomboy.

A Truth Teller.

A Musician.

A Lesbian…

A Creative.

That one (well two) still sits with me;

because Music and Art wasn’t just something I liked —

it was the truest thing I knew about myself.

Being creative was my clearest signal of who I actually was underneath all the performance…

And it was dismissed.

“That won’t make money.”

Four words.

And just like that —

The most authentic versions of me learned to be quiet.

The “Rules” a.k.a Expectations— 🙄

They don’t live in the past.

They followed me.

Sometimes, they still show up in the middle of decisions I thought were mine.

Saying shit like,

“Don’t be that much.”

“Don’t get fat.”

“Never embarrass her.”

“What happens in the house stays in the house...”

That last one.

That one did the most damage…

because it wasn’t just an rule about privacy.

It was the script that kept me silent,

for way too long…

“What happens in the house stays in the house”,

It’s how I learned that my voice, life and experience was safe nor more important than the group and their traditions. Actually, It was a threat to them.

It’s how Little Black Girls learn that their voice, pain and suffering is a secret to keep instead of a truth to tell and protect her !

Those words are how generational wounds become generational trauma.

So please, BREAK THE CYCLE and MAKE HOME SAFE FOR BLACK GIRLS AGAIN!

Today at 31, SAFETY is something I am still learning to incorporate and accept without skepticism.

I am still trying to figure out what HOME means for me

because it was never a place.

It was never anything like others have described it to be.

Literally, EVERY PLACE, I’ve called home has been connected to someone trying to drain me and innergy for their benefit with no concern what it would do to me…

but I’m too self-aware to put all the blame on them.

I take full responsibility and accountability for my part;

I trusted too early,

I ignored my intuition and all the red flags,

I completely released my knowledge on discernment and self-preservation,

and I was careless with my powerful, potent ass innergy.

THAT’S DEFINITELY MY B…

BUT NOW, IT’S TIME TO CALL BACK MY VOICE.

MY BODY.

MY INNERGY.

MY SPIRIT.

AND MY POWER.

AND THAT IS WHAT I AM DOING, IN REAL TIME, WITH THIS RITUAL !

As we head into closing soon, I want to be clear about something again.

This ritual is not about blame.

Blame keeps you tethered to the things you’re buring here.

This is about reclamation through tracing back.

Tracing back to the root of where it all started,

so you can finally stop watering it AND BURN THAT SHIT DOWN instead. ❤️‍🔥

Yes, I know the people who handed me these things,

were handed them as well…

but that doesn’t make it okay or an excuse to remain the same !

It makes it a cycle. ☕️

And cycles can be broken.

So, I am breaking this one.

Unapologetically. Loudly. Creatively, RAW AS FUCK !

Because that’s ME and if you can’t get with it,

GET THE FUCK LOST.

With Light & Dark, Paris. ❤️‍🔥

This is a Loud Love Letter for the Little Black Girls,

who deserves to be a creative, if she wants to.

Who deserves to be celebrated, just for existing in the life she’s endured

AND CONQUERED.

Who deserves to take up space, without apologizing for it.

She didn’t get that then, but she getting it now.

And nobody —

nobody —

gets to take it from her again !

EYE LOVE YOU ALWAYS, LOUDLY AND UNAPOLOGETICALLY BLACK WOMAN & GIRL ! 🌹

Flame 004: Release Prompts 📝🔥

These prompts are for deciding what doesn’t go with you. They only work if you’re being honest.

• What are you ready to stop carrying…

  even if it’s uncomfortable to put it down?

• What feels heavy that you’ve been calling “normal”?

Don’t rush your answer. Sit with it, Breathe then, Write Transparently.

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: Diary of an OG by Monaleo

Giving Baby Girl, Judiee & Trina a public voice has been so liberating for the higher version of me but terrifying for them. So, I’ve had this on repeat because they are releasing a lot of tears, secrets and fears during this ritual. I sing this with her voice as the higher me holds her tight and finally giving her the permission to REST because she got us and is leading us into the greatest chapter of our life so far.

Shout Out your innerself or selves in the comments and validate her existence, SHE DESERVES! ❤️‍🔥

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• Each entry in this ritual will come with correlating “Flame Prompts” to take with you as you intentional Burn Shit Down at your own pace.

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how do you feel, how old were you when you first listened or where are when you hear the song?

• “Ritual”, here in The Stu, means a purposeful, step-by-step experience you do with intention to create a real inner shift, not just a bunch of pointless posts.

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You Always, Black Woman. 🌹

If you feel tightness, overwhelm, or the urge to shut down — honor it. Please, put the pen down and come back when you’re ready.

• Here are 4 grounding exercises:

  • Feet on floor + Name 5 things you see

  • Cold water on wrists

  • Her Sacred Pause: A Intentional Playlist I created to help you recenter.

  • Hand on chest, slowly inhale for 1…2…3…4…5, then, exhale 1…2…3…4…5

    • This keeps your nervous system from hijacking your writing.

Even though this ritual is presented in six consecutive days, you are allowed and encouraged to go at your own pace.

Flame 003 itself, took me three months to write.

Not because I didn’t know what to say,

because a piece of me wasn’t ready to face this part of my story…

There is some dark shit back there.

And the guilt narrative —

is one I’ve been carrying since before I even knew what guilt was —

yet, it was a squatter in the darkest part of my inner home.

This is a shorter but slightly heavier entry,

So, if you need a minute before we begin —

please take it.

I’ll be here when you get back…

Okay, here’s what they don’t tell you about growing up the way I did.

It almost never looked like the obvious abuse and neglect.

Most of the time, it looked like a little girl with a lot of light

being conditioned to dim it.

Never because she wanted to.

But because every time she shone — somebody in the room got uncomfortable.

Every whimsy desire she had — shunned.

Every dream they couldn’t see for themselves — made fun of.

Every time she felt something loudly,

wanted to do something fully or

showed up as Her Unmasked Self — it was too much.

And they couldn’t wait to tell her either,

“You’re too much.”

“You’re too loud.”

“You’re too sensitive.”

“You’re going to outshine everybody.”

“Tone it down.”

“Fall back.”

“Be less you, so they can see me.”

And I did.

God help me —

I DID… 😔

What nobody tells you about being told you’re too much,

is that it doesn’t make you feel big.

It makes you feel wrong.

You feel like everything you are —

the fullness of you,

the rawness of you,

the God-given essence of you —

is a problem to be managed.

And when you hear that enough times,

from enough people,

in enough rooms,

you stop needing them to say it.

You start saying it to yourself.

I’m too much.

Something is wrong with me.

This is my fault.

THAT the guilt narrative.

Not a moment.

Not an incident.

A Conditioning.

Quiet. Consistent. Calculated.

For so long, I thought something was fundamentally broken inside of me.

I thought that the reason my desires were dismissed

was because my desires were wrong.

The reason my emotions were ignored

was because my emotions were invalid.

The reason my intuition was silenced

was because my intuition couldn’t be trusted.

The conditioning was so potent,

so thorough,

so primitive,

so consistent,

that I didn’t even notice I was doing it anymore.

Second guessing everything I truly enjoyed.

Denying myself of anything I really wanted.

Apologizing for taking up space in rooms I had business being in.

I feel like my life wasn’t my own until I left for college.

And like I said in Flame 002 — I didn’t really want to be there.

So I guess it still wasn’t mine yet lol but anywho,

I went out there to get away from my environment,

not to really do what your “supposed” to do when you go to college.

Nevertheless, the major I eventually chose was Psychology;

And spent five years forcing myself to care about a path

that I never actually wanted for myself.

If I’m being honest, for most of that experience,

I was searching for that “familiar family feeling” that I lost,

in every room I walked into

and finding fragments of what I thought I wanted but never the full thing,

because I was searching everywhere but within.

Nevertheless, my entire college experience was an opportunity for me

to run away and start over, which I got to do…

I Still Had A Place of My Own,

My Whip was in Decent Condition.

A Good Paying Job

And…

My First Poly Relationship 🤭 (We’ll talk more about this in June 🏳️‍🌈 lmao)

So when I “failed” after year five,

I said “FUCK THIS !”

and I left without guilt — because honestly,

I was never supposed to stay there in the first place.

And later — on my own time, my own terms —

I came back and finished what was actually mine.

Ya Girl is now, a Certified Life Coach. 😜

Full completion without any outside permission or validation.

Therefore, that IS NOT failure.

That’s the first time I listened to myself

and didn’t apologize for it.

The guilt narrative whispers, “It’s your fault.”

That if you had just been less —

less emotional,

less alluring,

less intelligent,

less you — none of it would have happened.

It whispers, “They couldn’t hold your fullness because of something wrong with you.”

When truly, it was something limited within them…

If any of this entry hit home,

I need you to hear this and I need you to LET IT LAND !

You were never too much.

You were in rooms too small for you.

With people too frightened of their own reflection

to let you shine without feeling threatened.

Your light was never the problem.

Their inability to dim it was !

Eye Love You FOR FREE AND FOREVER, Unmasked Black Woman.

Today, we are Burning the Guilt Narrative.

Not because we have it all figured out.

Not because the little girl in us doesn’t still flinch sometimes,

when she takes up too much space.

But because we refuse to spend one more day, believing a lie that was written for us before we were old enough to write our own story. ☕️

If you’re ready to Burn The Guilt Narrative, say this with me; Aloud or to Yourself WITH YOUR CHEST, in the mirror if you’re called:

I was never too much.

I was never not enough.

I am forever and always —

exactly — what God made me to be.

And that is not something I will apologize for.

Not today.

Not ever again!

Tears may form. Let them fall.

It may take you second to get through. Take Your Time.

Just make sure you believe and receive what you are VALIDATING for your inner child in that moment.

If you’re comfortable, let me know in the comments how you feel after.

Flame 003: Truth Prompts 📝🔥

These prompts are to help you practice speaking without softening. They only work if you’re being honest.

• What truth have you been watering down to make it easier to sit with?

• If you said what you really felt…what would change immediately?

Don’t rush your answer. Sit with it, Breathe then, Write Transparently.

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: Needed Me by Rihanna

They Needed You Baby…

to feel big, to feel seen, to be them! THEY NEEDED YOU to be less because you shine so fucking bright without even trying ! YOU ARE THE BLUEPRINT. They can’t even move until you do. They can’t shake until you shake. They swear, they can’t shit until YOU EAT, even if they aren’t getting any. Don’t you dare give these bitches the satisfaction of thinking they’d ever get your spot because God made it special for YOU.

So, SHE IS TEN TOES ABOUT YOU, unless you aren’t. ☕️

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• Each entry in this ritual will come with correlating “Flame Prompts” to take with you as you intentional Burn Shit Down at your own pace.

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how do you feel, how old were you when you first listened or where are when you hear the song?

• “Ritual”, here in The Stu, means a purposeful, step-by-step experience you do with intention to create a real inner shift, not just a bunch of pointless posts.

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You Always, Black Woman. 🌹

If you feel tightness, overwhelm, or the urge to shut down — honor it. Please, put the pen down and come back when you’re ready.

• Here are 4 grounding exercises:

  • Feet on floor + Name 5 things you see

  • Cold water on wrists

  • Her Sacred Pause: A Intentional Playlist I created to help you recenter.

  • Hand on chest, slowly inhale for 1…2…3…4…5, then, exhale 1…2…3…4…5

    • This keeps your nervous system from hijacking your writing.

Even though this ritual is presented in six consecutive days, you are allowed and encouraged to go at your own pace.

The first time I recognized my false identity was after a few weeks of FINALLY being on my own at Virginia State University.

I was walking from class one Hot August Day in 2012, thinking —

“I really don’t know shit about REAL LIFE!”

😂🤣😂🤣😂

I am laughing now but then, I was confused and devastated.

Which, eventually, made me realize how lost and hurt I had truly been…

Ultimately, I was able to come to terms with the fact that, “No one really expected me to make it here or anywhere, so no one prepared me for it.”

and with that realization came another one that hurt even more.

Today, I know that this moment was the beginning of a spiritual awakening

and my first initiation into my lifelong journey of Self Mastery.

Back then I was like, “These niggas set me up for failure on purpose.” lmao

If I’m being honest, I didn’t expect me to be there either;

I didn’t even want to go college.

I wanted to model, sing and write but I was consistently told that wasn’t “practical” nor would it “sustain my life” being as though I had to do something “productive” as soon as I graduated high school. So, I applied to somewhere that was far enough away from EVERYONE but close enough to get to me just in case of emergency. lol, I got accepted almost immediately

I took that as a sign and start packing my shit…

No “Real Plan” when I got there.

No clue of a major or minor, other than Music.

However, I DID KNOW that I didn’t wanna be in Maryland anymore

and this was THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY.

So, I GOT THE FUCK OUTTA THERE!

From there, I had to learn retain early in adulthood, how “crucial” it was to shelve my dreams and pick up the “more realistic” versions of myself instead;

but I was in college now, so “it’s MY time” right?! 🙃🫠🥴😈

The answer was Yes and No.

My Freshman Year at VSU was a culture shock in its purest form.

Everything I thought I knew about life collapsed the moment I arrived.

Within the first couple of months,

I wasn’t just confused and lost in everything besides my studies.

I WAS ANGRY AS HELL !

Angry at the recent revelation that my entire foundation was purposely created to be incomplete.

The plan was I remained unsatisfied, stagnant, unstable and dependent

on everyone more than myself like everyone in my previous environment

and for a while, their plan was going “well”…

I had little to no social skills and I WAS EMBARRASSINGLY UNPREPARED for,

the predatory, manipulative males,

the innergy vampires disguised as friends,

the freemason cliques,

posing as “organizations” who are recruiting left and right. 🫖

Mannnnnn, Freshman Year felt like I had been living in a bubble for 17 years

and nobody ever thought to warn me about what was happening outside of it.

By month six —

I was getting the hang of the scholar and party life balance.

I had some “good” creative friends,

who embraced my “weird & awkward” personality.

Then, I experienced my first real heartbreak

accompanied with a STD from my “boyfriend” back home.

Double Homicide 🥲😂

I also went no contact with my mother for the FIRST TIME.

Experiencing hella firsts while quietly slipping into,

yet another identity that wasn’t mine.

Along comes Sophomore Year,

I had changed my major twice and cycled through at least four roommates.

I was apart of three very different, friend groups,

and had fallen into a relationship with “Mr. Popular” on the campus. 🙄🥴🥱

Baby, I was convinced that my world was finally coming together.

“Well-Known” Couple on Campus,

Decent Grades,

And I just got my Driver’s License.

but underneath all of it,

I was still carrying HELLA anger and resentment

that I had to teach myself, Basic Life Skills.

Financial Literacy,

Navigating Interpersonal Relationships,

The truth about what truly means to be a Black Woman in America.

That experience created, The Strong Black Woman mask.

That mask looked productive asf by Junior Year.

Your Girl Moved Off Campus.

Had Two Jobs.

Full Course Load with Fairly Good Grades.

I Bought Myself A Car, Paid in Full.

I was Gaining More Recognition on Campus from

Joining a Modeling Organization and Being with “Him”.

From the outside looking in— I was “THRIVING” and I was truly THAT GIRL !

Been That, Still THAT. 😜

Anyway, I had a “Good Man”,

School was Schooling in the Right Direction,

Coin was Stacking from Different Streams

AND I was ONE OF THEM ONES on campus, even on a “bad” day

but that’s nothing new…

Even before then, I knew favor and abundance was mine. Not just due to my looks and abilities but because my innergy has always exuded, THE ETHEREAL, RESILIENT GODDESS I UNAPOLOGETICALLY AM TODAY !

It has been proven multiple times over that when I intentionally put my mind to something,

I GETS IT DONE and I do whatever it is NEARLY “PERFECT”.

However, fortune nor perfection was ever my concern. What has always been most important to me having the FREEDOM to do Whatever the Fuck I Want!

And right then, Life was “GREAT & PLANNING OUT PERFECTLY”.

…Until it wasn’t.

By the beginning of, what I thought was my Senior Year,

I learned that “my man” had been everyone else’s man too; the entire time.

Yeah, that part is nothing new because Niggas 🙄 but here’s the kicker?

EVERYONE on AND OFF that Big Ass Campus knew and NOBODY fucked with me enough to tell me.

Not my org.

None of my groups of “friends”.

Not even my bestest friend from home.

Nobody…

Besides my Babyboo and Sister, Octavia B. AND I MET HER THROUGH HIM! SMH LMAO.

But I was a “drunk in love, pick me”, who didn’t listen or read the sign. I would even say, I was the definition of a “MALE-CENTERED, PICK ME”. So when she did say something, I went off with no desire to hear much of what she told me. I might’ve called her a liar and maybe even jealous like she ain’t no the fucka better than me. lol

Just plain stupid, honestly but not too much on me lmao.

Everything she told me, went in one ear and out the other until I got home and did my own research. She was right and she loved me so deep.

A True “Girl’s Girl”.

I can and will admit that I was a complete-utter, self sabotaging asshole.

So Octavia B., if you ever come across this, I know we talked about this before but I feel like I owe a SINCERE PUBLIC apology to my first TRUE FRIEND in Womanhood.

Tay, I sincerely apologize for my naivete, ignorance and plain disrespect of you, our friendship sisterhood and the image of the woman & friend you thought me to be. You came to me like a Grown Ass Woman and gave me THE GROWN ASS TRUTH that NOBODY was real enough to say. AS MY SISTER, I should’ve believed the truth you shared was never to hurt me but to free me of the bullshit. You were my BEST FRIEND, MY SISTER, MY BABY and I truly hate how shit ended between us; especially over that nigga…EeeeeeUCKKKK! 🤢😒🤣

Thank you for loving me enough to tell me the truth. Thank you for being everything that you are and were to me ,even when I couldn’t be those things to myself. I love and appreciate you so much, RIGHT NOW TODAY! So please, If you’re open and interested, call me so we can catch up! It’s soooo much to talk about and hella tea to spill. Nothing close to what I have up here. So HIT MEEEEEE and let’s have some drinks and good ole’ fashion Sister’s Date.

I Love You Forever Girlie. 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

Oh, and how do I know everyone knew?

You couldn’t imagine all of the stories that people couldn’t wait to tell me about what they seen and heard about him AFTER WE BREAK UP, while I am grieving the last three years of my life.

Everybody was a punk bitch, if you ask me but I digress. lol

Let me remind you that I will never lie to you,

so when I say that shit flipped my whole world upside down!!!!

That’s EXACTLY what I mean…

It reopened my Very Huge, Abandonment Wound

and ultimately created a new mask,

Let’s call her, Trina Monroe a.k.a my org name.

This one was CUT THROAT!

She was foxy asf, even more angry than before and “cut all of her feelings off” because she felt that shit was no longer safe to have any.

By the end of my FIRST Senior Year…

yes, you read it right, “first” because there were two,

because I picked up an evening class and by 4pm every day at the time,

I was drowning myself in Hennessy to numb even more heartbreak

and I still didn’t graduate 🫠🤣

but that’s a story for another day, we’ll get there one day…maybe.

Anywho, the coin was still flowing.

School was there but as I said, I wasn’t as present as I should’ve been.

I was a broken hearted girl turned HOT & SAVAGE VIXEN, all mixed in one !

Fresh Out a Three Year Sentence,

HOT & Ready to Be Outside,

Ready to be seen,

Ready to be desired again,

but beneath all of that, more than anything —

I was READY FOR REVENGE. 😈

and I got it too…

”I GOT HIM GOOD!”

Is what I would say after every “conquer”…

and Babyyyy, that was most definitely a Librating, Sexy Ass Time.

but I didn’t know what I know now. 😼

So doing that type of activity while innergetically unaware and unprotected,

costed me parts of my temple and reputation that I may never get back.

p.s. All of this shit is transmuted now, so idgaf but yeah, MESSAGE ☕️ lol.

If you didn’t read between the lines,

“Once a upon time, not long ago, I was Heaux and I’m admitting, can’t take back cause I did the shit…MO MONEY, I WANT YO MONEY…” 🎵🙃😜🤣

IYKYK and I love you even more,

drop a 🌶️ in the comments, so I can remember you later. lmao

but yeah, due to the inability to healthily cope with the heartbreak,

I became Extremely Hypersexual.

Very “Lush” with the Liquor.

Careless about Myself or Anyone Around Me.

I stopped giving grace because I felt no one had been given it to me when I needed it. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Completely Hardened.

Listen, I wore controlled rage, untamed sexuality and fake confidence like a badge of honor but underneath it all, Baby Girl was heartbroken again and hoping someone would notice.

Praying that someone would look at me and say,

“Wait, this isn’t The Real Paris. Let me check on her.”

In all actuality, nobody ever truly seen, let alone met or knew “The Real Paris”, to say anything…hell, I barely know her.

My “Hot Girl Mask” aka Trina Monroe, in particular stuck with me, on and off, for some years. To this day, she’s actually my favorite of them all!

Flame 002 is truly a big shout out to her because she taught me REAL LIFE.

She had to learn street smarts, intentional rebellion, and the importance of fight, flight and fawn, especially when life didn’t go a way we expected.

She also, learned how to run, instead of root.

She learned how to start over without a plan.

Sometimes, it felt like freedom.

Other times, it left me digging myself out of some of the same holes in different places.

Baby, I thought I stopped being a ride or die,

when I was really just switching lanes, without ever checking the GPS. ☕️

Today I can honestly say,

I stopped glorifying these masks as my identity and started transmuting them.

Into Shadow Work

Into Introspection

Into This Ritual.

I began telling my truth, instead of letting others define it for me.

I took off the rose-colored glasses and stopped ignoring the blood red flags

that had been waving in my face the whole time.

I will warn you that removing theses masks has been

one of the hardest and most transformative experiences I’ve ever done.

Outside of becoming a mother —

nothing has required more patience, honesty, grace and transmutation

but I swear I wouldn’t trade it for anything in this world…

Because taking off my ALL of performance masks,

gave me my voice AND temple back.

Though, I’m still learning exactly what to do with them.

But at least now —

THIS VOICE AND TEMPLE IS MINE !!!!!

Flame 002: Ownership Prompts 📝🔥

These prompts are for discovering your role in what you keep experiencing They only work if you’re being honest.

• Where have you been abandoning yourself to keep something (or someone) going?

• What patterns keep repeating…even when you say you want something different?

Don’t rush your answer. Sit with it, Breathe then, Write Transparently.

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: When I Was Trina.

She wasn't the real me but she wasn't a lie either. Trina was who I needed to be before I knew who I actually was. This playlist is hers. Every song she blasted while figuring out survival in a body that deserved so much better.

Thank you, Trina. Eye see and love you dearly. ❤️‍🔥

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• Each entry in this ritual will come with correlating “Flame Prompts” to take with you as you intentional Burn Shit Down at your own pace.

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how do you feel, how old were you when you first listened or where are when you hear the song?

• “Ritual”, here in The Stu, means a purposeful, step-by-step experience you do with intention to create a real inner shift, not just a bunch of pointless posts.

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You Always, Black Woman. 🌹

If you feel tightness, overwhelm, or the urge to shut down — honor it. Please, put the pen down and come back when you’re ready.

Here are 4 grounding exercises:

• Feet on floor + name 5 things you see

• Cold water on your wrists

• Her Sacred Pause: An intentional playlist I created to help you recenter. (Check your invitation in the previous post.)

• Hand on chest, slowly Inhale for 1…2…3…4…5, then, Exhale 1…2…3…4…5

  • This keeps your nervous system from hijacking your writing.

Even though this ritual is presented in six consecutive days, you are allowed and encouraged to go at your own pace.

Okay before we begin this ritual, let me be transparent.

Initially, I created this as a series about a year ago…

but I wasn’t healed enough to bring it to the world.

If I’m being honest —

it was supposed to be something completely different.

An angry, bitter tell-all.

A crashout series.

Me airing every grievance, spilling every cup of tea,

saying everything that’s been killing me from the inside out for years.

And I was ready to do it too…

Nevertheless, Source, God, Spirit had other plans.

One day, I rose and realized that I didn’t want any of this shit to have power over me anymore! Deep down, I knew a crashout wouldn’t free me completely but intentionally transmuting this innergy and then, creating a magical healing experience for others but most importantly, myself through expression just might.

So, I let the old version of Burn Shit Down die and here we are,

More Evolved. More Healed.

Very Much Still Transparent, but More Intentional With It.

No longer a crashout series but…

An Intentional Ritualistic Experience!

Are you Ready? 👁️

Let’s Burn This Shit Down!

Today, we Burn the Silence. ❤️‍🔥

For me, that means burning self-abandonment.

Burning the fear of being misinnerstood.

Burning the quiet, survival trace that I had lived in for far too long.

Before consciously choosing myself, I abandoned her repeatedly…

for other people’s comfort,

their opinions,

their sense of safety.

I learned early that MY truth made people uncomfortable.

My trauma was “too heavy.”

My triumphs were “too loud.”

And somehow, ALL OF WHO I AM AT MY CORE became “too much.”

So, I hid her…

And hiding became second nature.

Until now.

To burn the fear of being misunderstood, I, first, had to admit to myself that fear was present.

For years, I wore the mask of someone who “didn’t care what people thought.”

but after doing some heavy introspection and necessary shadow work ❤️‍🔥,

I realized that wasn’t true.

I cared deeply about what others thought of me. So much so that I consistently transformed myself to fit in whatever box a mothafucka felt that I should be at the time they needed it.

The Strong One.

The Freaky One.

The Outspoken One.

The Wise One.

The Unaware One.

The real question was why…

So, I created some intentional time for myself to trace it all back,

and who I found was my inner child,

I like to call her, Baby Girl.

She was the one who was mocked, dismissed, and ignored almost every time she showed up as her true self. She learned to mask herself fairly early because “it made life easier”…or at least quieter.

However, what it really did was make her more digestible for others while slowly erasing her core from the inside out.

Every time she made herself smaller for someone else’s comfort,

I lost a piece of her.

Eventually, shrinking her to Pluto’s size to fit that Survival Suit.

And that suit, became my default fit.

Okay, let’s talk about survival mode.

For me, it felt completely normal.

My Default Fit.

It felt like life was just supposed to be tough.

It felt like strength meant enduring everything quietly —

head held high, pretending I had no feelings at all.

Of course no one noticed, but why would they,

“Imma Strong Black Woman!” right?

My mask became so convincing, I stopped realizing I was wearing one.

Not until I finally created the time and space to pause and really be quiet with myself.

I created the opportunity to pause and reflect on the “wild and crazy” life

that I lived up until then,

and to look at myself honestly and say —

“Wait. This isn’t me…this is my pain.” ❤️‍🔥

This is where my burn began…

Seeing that I decided to acknowledge my pain, I could finally heal my pain.

Chileee, that pain had taken on a personality of its own.

It wrapped around my spirit like armor,

and I wore it proudly.

Pain & Strength became my identity.

If you met me, it wouldn’t take long for my life lessons, family wounds or a heartbreak stories to surface. I would just dump my business AND lessons on whoever would act like they cared, because “I just wanted to help as many people as I could from learning the hard way like I did.”

Truth is, I was screaming for help my damn self…

but I often made light of the all trauma that has scarred me,

because I never wanted pity.

I still don’t.

I just want to be the one to write my story vs. allowing my opps to do it… ☕️

I welcome, expect and appreciate that most people will misinnerstand me and the innergy of this ritual. Again expected and welcomed.

UNDERSTANDING FROM MFS WHO CAN’T RELATE IS NOT MY PURPOSE OR CONCERN HERE !!!! 🖕🏽

My purpose of this ritual experience is expressing my truth to heal and show other Unmasking Black Women that it’s okay to do the same, even if she’s scared, apprehensive but SURE this is NOT where she want to be anymore and/or nobody around her is in her corner. My purpose is to confirm for her that she’s never alone because eye see her but most importantly, God sees her and nothing that she’s grown through has gone unnoticed, nor was it unplanned…

This ritual is exclusively for Unmasking Black Women, who are aligned and called to receive me because she is doing the INTENTIONAL HEALING WORK to get herself out of the situations that she caused and didn’t cause from wearing a mask that was never made for her. ❤️‍🔥

As you may see, I no longer need external validation…

to move, to speak or to be anything AND EVERYTHING I am called to be.

Releasing that longing takes work.

REAL INTENTIONAL WORK

The kind we’ll be doing together, here in this ritual

and in all of HerDiaryStudiio spaces.

So, if you’re ready to stop surviving quietly

and start telling YOUR TRUTH intentionally —

Let’s Burn Shit Down! ❤️‍🔥

Flame 001: Recognition Prompts 📝🔥

These prompts are for seeing what you’ve been pretending not to see. They only work if you’re being honest:

• What in your life already feels over…but you haven’t allowed yourself to admit it yet?

• Where are you forcing something that no longer feels natural to you?

Don’t rush your answers. Sit with them, Breathe then, Write Transparently.

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: Up All Night by Drake

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• Each entry in this ritual will come with correlating “Flame Prompts” to take with you as you intentional Burn Shit Down at your own pace.

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how do you feel, how old were you when you first listened or where are when you hear the song?

• “Ritual”, here in The Stu, means a purposeful, step-by-step experience you do with intention to create a real inner shift, not just a bunch of pointless posts.

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You Always, Black Woman. 🌹

There comes a point where healing isn’t soft anymore.

Not because you’re doing it wrong,

but because you’ve gone deep enough to find all the things…

The things that don’t dissolve with journaling prompts,

or deep breaths,

or “good intentions”.

The things that require

something more deliberate.

Something more like —

FIRE. 🔥🔥🔥

Burn Shit Down is a Intentionally Curated Ritual.

Not a series.

Not a content collection.

A RITUAL!

Six Entries.

Six Flames.

Each flame burns a specific layer of what you’ve been carrying without realizing it was never yours to carry.

This ritual starts Tomorrow, April 15th.

Right here in The Stu.

It’s for the UNMASKED BLACK WOMEN who —

knows something isn’t working but can’t fully name it yet.

She has been performing “fine” in rooms that were never safe.

She has kept secrets that cost her more than they cost anyone else.

She has been so devoted to surviving that she forgot what it feels like to actually live.

This ritual is for Black Woman that has been waiting —

maybe without knowing it —

for permission to BURN THAT SHIT DOWN!

THIS is that permission…

Here’s what the ritual looks like —

April 15 — Burn The Silence The ignition point. Voice returns.

April 16 — Burn The Performed Self Name who you were pretending to be.

April 17 — Burn The Guilt Narrative Face the resistance. Trace it back.

April 18 — Burn The Inherited Expectations What you carried without consenting to it.

April 19 — Burn The Devotion to Pain The pivot from survival to choice.

April 20 — Burn The Shame Script Final purification. This is where she arrives.

Six Days.

Six Flames.

One Ritual.

And a community of Unmasked Black Women DOING THE REAL WORK of returning to themselves…also, this ritual closes with a special 4/20 surprise for the ones who actually DO THEIR WORK. 😏

Her Divine Reminder. ☕️

You don’t have to be fully ready.

You don’t have to have it all figured out.

You just have to be honest enough to show up.

The rest —

the ritual handles.

If your interested, subscribe if you aren’t already.

April 15th, we begin.

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: Her Sacred Pause. ⏸️🌹

This isn’t just a playlist. It’s a sacred practice.

Her Sacred Pause is a collection of chakra aligning meditations and calming, channelled frequencies designed to bring you back to your temple (body) — before the work, during the work and after the fire settles.

Use it before you write. Use it when the words won’t come. Use it when you need to remember what stillness feels like.

Anchored in Londrelle’s guided chakra meditations and some extra channelled frequencies that came up while creating — because some of us need a voice that knows the way back before we can find it ourselves.

Root to Crown. Body to Breath. Present to Peace.

This one is yours to keep. Come back to it whenever you need to.

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how do you feel, how old were you when you first listened or where are when you hear the song?

• “Ritual”, here in The Stu, means a purposeful, step-by-step experience you do with intention to create a real inner shift, not just a bunch of pointless posts.

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You Always, Black Woman. 🎵🌹