Juneteenth is Ours.

and not in a borrowed, everyone’s-invited to cookout, water-it-down for everyone else kind of way.

Ours.

Black American.
Soulaan.
The specific, particular, irreplaceable
heritage of a people
who were told they were free
and still had to fight to make it true.

This is our day!
And I think we deserve to celebrate it like we mean it.

I want to talk about Black Women today…and everyday but,

Specifically.
Intentionally.
Without making room for anyone else,
in this particular paragraph,
on this particular day.

We, as Black Women, have carried freedom on our backs before it had a name.

We have fought for liberation while simultaneously being excluded from the liberation we just fucking fought for.

We have shown up for every movement,
every community,
every table —

and been asked to sit down,
be quiet,
or make ourselves smaller,
so the rest of room can remain comfortable.

But, Not today! ✊🏾❤️

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This Juneteenth, I want every Black Woman reading this to feel what freedom actually feels like within her body.

Not the concept of it.
Not the performance of it.

The real thing.

The exhale.
The unclenching.
The permission to take up every inch of the space you were always meant to occupy… ☕️

Before we go further —

Read this out loud if you can.
Or just let it land.

“I am no longer available for smallness.
Not on Today!
NOT EVER AGAIN!”

Let me know in the comments how that feels afterwards, if you want.

I’ll be honest with you, as I always am.

For the last few Juneteenth’s, I created and promoted a handcrafted jewelry brand that catered to “POC”, even though my overall message and delivery was specifically focused on the Black Women’s Experiences.

I was playing a character.
Shrinking my Blackness to make my brand more palatable to “a wider audience.”

Performing safety in a space that was supposed to be mine.

This Juneteenth?!

I have a Black Woman centered brand that represents all of me.

Growing.
Aligning.
Actually supporting Black Women as they return home to themselves.

Let’s be clear, that’s not just a business update.

That’s what freedom looks like when you finally stop performing it and start living it!

In honor of today —
in honor of US — I made something.

Her Instinct Beads.

Handcrafted waist beads in intuitively, curated colorways
for the Black Woman
who sees her color(s),
feels them,
and already knows they are hers.

No session required.
No application needed.

Just her instinct leading her back to her body.

The first colorway is Soulaani —
Black, Red and Gold.

For the heritage.
For the blood.
For the sovereignty that was always ours.

Available now in The Studiio.🔓🌹

Happy Juneteenth, Black Woman. 🌹

You are the living proof that freedom is not given.

It is claimed.

Code: SOULAAN for $11 OFF of your order if you purchase anything under Her Return Artifacts in the Studiio until June 30th.

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: Sexy Soulaan by Monaleo.

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

Come Privately Talk Shit in The Booth.🎙🌹

Return Artifacts & Files are in The Studiio.🔓🌹

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You on Purpose, Black Woman. 🌹

Black Pride Month is here and before we get into all the things Black & Gay, I think we should start with the rainbow itself.

Not the corporate one. Not the seasonal one.

The Real One.

The one that appears after a storm.

The one that reminds us that light isn’t one thing.

It’s many things, existing together.

That’s always been the significance of the rainbow for me.

Not just diversity.

Wholeness.

Contrary to popular belief, I am not one thing.

I am not just a Black Woman.

Not just a Mother or just a Creative.

Not just a Queer Woman.

Not just an Alchemist or a Victor of many things.

Not just an Intentional Rebel.

Not just a Spiritual Woman.

I am all of those things at the same damn time.

And so are you.

That’s why I love the rainbow.

Every color serves a purpose.

Every color belongs.

None of them have to compete for space.

None of them have to earn their right to exist.

They simply are.

Whew. Imagine that.

Ironically, that’s what drew me to the chakra system years ago.

A complete rainbow, holding significant innergies within our temples.

A whole spectrum of needs, desires, gifts, wounds, truths and power.

❤️ Safety in the Root

🧡 Sensuality in the Sacral

💛 Confidence in the Solar Plexus

💚 Love in the Heart

💙 Truth in the Throat

💜 Intuition in the Third Eye

🤍 Connection to the Crown (Ethers/Spirit)

All working together, not because they’re perfect but because they’re yours.

If Burn Shit Down taught me anything, it’s that healing isn’t becoming someone new. It’s finally making room for all the versions of yourself that were already there.

The parts of yourself that you’ve hidden.

Muted.

Performed over.

The parts you explained away or convinced yourself weren’t welcome.

Therefore next week, here in The Stu but more interactive, inside The Booth. 🎵🌹, we’re slowing down and moving through the rainbow one color at a time.

One center at a time.

One truth at a time.

Not to fix or optimize ourselves.

Not to become “better” but to become more honest.

More expressed.

More integrated.

More whole.

As a sensual woman, I use the Color Theory while creating EVERYTHING!

Whether I am choosing an outfit, preparing meals or developing a creative brand but especially when I am creating Her Sovereignty Adornments.

Every piece is intentionally, handcrafted by me.

Every color.

Every crystal.

Every protection practice.

Every tool I use during the process.

All chosen with purpose and intention because sovereignty, sensuality and self-return looks different on every woman.

Some women need grounding.

Some need protection.

Some need softness.

Some need courage.

Some need a reminder to speak up.

Some need a reminder to rest.

There is no formula.

There is only the woman in front of me and what she is returning to. Which, if we’re being honest, is exactly what this entire community has always been about…

A Return to Self.🌹

So whether you’re here because you’re a Black Woman.

Because you’re Queer Black Woman.

Because you’re Healing Black Woman.

Because you’re Curious Black Woman.

If you’re tired of hiding pieces of yourself to make other people comfortable or because you simply miss yourself...

Welcome Home. 🌹

This month is for US. 🏳️‍🌈

Every color.

Every version.

Every layer.

Every truth.

No more shrinking.

No more editing.

No more pretending to be one color, when you’ve always been a whole damn rainbow.

Now, bring your Black Queer and/or Whimsy ass Home. 🌈☕️

Return to The Lobby. 📌

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: Over the Rainbow 🏳️‍🌈

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You on Purpose, Black Woman. 🌹

Before we step into a purposefully fun, whimsy Pride month tomorrow, I wanted to reflect a little on how eye opening and expansive May was.

Listennnnn, May took me through there is the best and worst of ways.

I’ve been more present with MYSELF than ever before…

I no longer give myself permission to play small or perform FOR ANYONE.

My relationship with The Divine is stronger than it’s ever been and gets stronger each day.

I let what is no longer meant to align to fall without fight or anger; simply intentional release through TRUE EXPRESSION.

I have been expressing all my truth on and off line no matter how uncomfortable it may feel because there’s usually a miracle happening right after I get pass that uncomfortable feeling. ☕️

This month, I closed the door on my past and fully stepped into the Paris I am called to be vs. sulking in what was or lack thereof.

The twists were twisting and the turns turning but I trust God and flowed into a quantum leap!!! I’ve been jumping timelines all month by simply allowing shit to be without question, shame or taking ownership. I genuinely stopped giving a fuck and it’s the best decision I’ve ever made!

So before this month ends, I invite you to do some introspective reflecting and see what comes up as you reflect and allow one more release of what’s no longer needed to go from here.

May Reflection Prompts.❤️‍🩹

Before the new month begins tomorrow, ask yourself:

• What did this month teach me about myself?

• What is something I need to release if I want to reach my highest potential? Am I open to do so?

• Did I receive any significant messages from God that I ignored?

• What do I need to do next month to have better outcomes than this month?

Write it down. Say it out loud. Record it.

Because healing doesn’t always begin with answers, sometimes it begins with one honest witness...YOU!

You are welcome to comment or DM and tell me one answer.

Or keep it in your diary.

Either way…Please tell the truth.

It’s the best path to your higher self. ☕️

This is what The Stu is for.

A place to lay it down before you pick up what’s next.

And if you’re ready to move deeper into your own process,

The Lobby is unlocked and open. 😏

Inside, you’ll find intentional experiences, services, products, more private spaces, and the next layers of this work.

For the Creative Black Women ready to build from what their truth revealed…

There’s Her Return Strategy. 🧱

A private brand reconstruction experience for the woman who knows her next chapter can’t be built from an old version of herself.

But first...YOU MUST Reflect.

I will not work with anyone who IS NOT ready or aligned.

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: Shabang by Drake

This has been such a vibe for me ever since I heard it. It gets me so hype and resonates with this month’s innergy because…

ALL OF MY OPPS THEY DEADS.

WHY TO THEY ASS ME UP? WHERE DOES IT GO? MY HEAD. 😈

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You on Purpose, Black Woman. 🌹

Before we move into a Majestic May, I think it’s important to ask:

What did this month reveal for me?

Not what did it produce or what did it prove,

but WHAT DID IT REVEAL?

Some months are less about achievement and more about exposure.

Exposure of patterns.

Exposure of pain.

Exposure of places within ourselves we’ve been trying not to look at

and BABBBBYYYYY, this month pulled a lot out of me!

Some truths I wasn’t ready to say out loud but had to.

Some grief I thought I had already made peace with.

Some clarity that arrived dressed as discomfort & guilt.

Funny how truth does that, right?

It rarely knocks lightly and usually enters like disruption.

Nevertheless, I’m learning that disruption is not always destruction.

Sometimes it’s redirection.

Sometimes it’s return.

This month reminded me that returning to yourself is not glamorous work.

It’s messy as fuck!

A lot of the time it sounds like changing your mind.

Or grieving old versions of yourself.

Or realizing what fit you before, doesn’t fit you now.

Most importantly, it’s having the courage to honor what you uncover.

That’s where I’ve been...in this in-between stage.

Recording more truth as it arrives.

Sitting with what it asks of me.

Not rushing to package it into a lesson or content.

Just letting it be what it is.

So, this month I invite you to do some introspection and see what comes up as you reflect and allow one more release of what’s no longer needed to go from here.

April Reflection Prompts. ❤️‍🩹

Before the new month begins tomorrow, ask yourself:

• What did this month teach me about myself?

• What did I survive that I haven’t acknowledged?

• What version of me feels harder to carry now?

• What truth have I been circling but avoiding?

Write it down. Say it out loud. Record it.

Because healing doesn’t always begin with answers,

sometimes it begins with one honest witness...YOU!

This is what The Stu is for.

A place to lay it down before you pick up what’s next.

And if you’re ready to move deeper into your own process,

The Lobby is live. 📌

Yes, she’s password protected; Please DM to Request Access.

Inside, you’ll find intentional experiences, services, products, more private spaces, and the next layers of this work.

And for the Creative Black Women ready to build from what their truth revealed…

There’s Her Return Strategy. 🧱

A private brand reconstruction experience for the woman who knows her next chapter can’t be built from an old version of herself.

But first...YOU MUST Reflect.

You are welcome to comment or DM and tell me one answer.

Or keep it in your diary.

Either way…Please tell the truth.

It’s the best path to your higher self. ☕️

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: Silence.

After a month full of channelling frequencies, this rising I made it point to sit in silence for 20 minutes. No Music. No Frequency Hertz. Just Me and God. The Downloads Babyyyyyy. Off the Charts!

So, my channelled message for the day is to try to create some quiet time and see what God says to you, if not today then this weekend. Take as much time as you feel you can or need…just be present for the time to create.

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You Always, Black Woman. 🌹

In 2020, one night changed everything. What started as an assault became a “secret” he told before I could — and by the time I found my voice, I’d already lost my stability, once again, and nearly myself.

I quit that job. I sank into depression. I got put out and, Covid hit the same week so, I literally hit the pavement. Nevertheless, I had my “good-girlfriend” and that stimmy was littttt so I was hotel-hopping with someone whose plans for me I didn’t fully innerstand until I was almost too deep to see clearly…but thanks to God, I did see and I GOT TF OUTTA THERE!

This poem is about what he took, but it’s also about what he couldn’t.

Did He Tell You?

Did he tell you, eye was drunk?

Did he tell you, eye said no?

Did he tell you, eye pushed him off?

Did he tell you, he said “GO!”?

He caught me in the shower and he came in unannounced

Then, he went and told the world, so it’s hard to denounce.

Even months later, the effects eye still see.

Can’t trust a fucking soul...sometimes, not even me.

He took something else from me, didn’t realize that he did.

“It was just sex.”

Is what eye repeated because my body responded…

Eye lost my voice before — but now eye’m just numb.

Still fulfilling my purpose because eye WILL NOT succumb!

I wrote this poem on July 7, 2020. I was getting settled into a new space and starting my first business (Sensually Aligned Collections) after all of the danger and trauma I had experienced, and the only way I felt safe enough to express what happened to me was through this poem. This is healing in real time. Now, I am healed enough to share it with you. I truly hope what I'm sharing reaches someone who needs it — because allowing myself to share is healing parts of me I thought I'd buried deep enough to never find again. Eye Love You Always. Eye Love ME Always! - Paris Abundance.

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: Born Tired

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You Always, Black Woman. 🪷

* ⚠️ Trigger Warning but this is for ME first.‼️*

I need to say something I’ve been sitting with for a very long time.

Not because it’s easy.

Not because I’ve fully processed every layer of it.

But because the world is going to shit because of this exact topic and I refuse to let April: Sexual Assault Awareness Month pass through The Stu.🎵🌹without me telling my truth.

So here it is…

As a teenager,

I was molested by my stepbrother.

And for a long time —

a long, long time —

I kept that secret like it was mine to keep.

Like the weight of what happened to my body was somehow my responsibility to manage. To fold up neatly. To tuck away so nobody’s dinner got cold. So nobody had to feel uncomfortable. So the family stayed intact. So I stayed likeable.

I kept the secret for a decade and a half.

Way later in life, I found out I wasn’t the only one.

And we had all been keeping the same secret.

For each other.

For him.

For them.

For a peace that was never actually peaceful — just quiet. Just managed. Just performed.

When I finally spoke up —

and I mean really spoke, not hinted, not implied, not carefully worded so nobody got too upset —

Asked my mother because I want you to remember what happened.

It wasn’t healing.

It wasn’t relief.

It wasn’t the family coming together.

It was questioning.

It was denial.

It was a woman’s “meeting” turned intervention to check my temperature.

It was finding she knew…

Following dead, murky silence.

Not long after, it became a smear campaign, including my father.

It was lying ass scripts being handed out and repeated.

It was watching all of the people I once called family, once loved, protected and spoke up for, choose the comfort of lies and public image over the truth of what happened to my body and some of their own…

Chillleeeee, the disappointment and digest that developed is unexplainable to this day.

And I won’t pretend that didn’t break something in me.

It did…

I cried.

I screamed.

I did all the grieving shit, which is expected and normal.

But here’s what they didn’t count on —

I picked myself back up. 🤪🤣

I dusted that shit off.

and tried again but in a different direction…

FAR THE FUCK AWAY FROM ALL THEIR ASSES.

I left in silence.

With a pinch of hope that maybe, they’d change.

or at least one person would come with me.

But God said, “Nahhh, nobody can go.” Then, she revealed EVERYTHING so that there was no way I could look back.

So, I guess this is a goodbye letter as well.

Goodbye to Him, Her & All of Them.

Goodbye to Grief, Silence & All the Fear.

I wish everyone what they deserve. ✌🏽

There is a specific kind of grief that comes with realizing the people who were supposed to love, support and protect you are the same ones, now working tirelessly to silence your truth.

If this resonates in any way,

You aren’t going “crazy”. (This is the popular, favorite slur 🤭)

You aren’t selfish, bitter or looking for attention.

You are seeing shit clearer than ever. 👁️

and clarity —

even when it hurts —

is a gift.

Recently, even after removing myself and innergy,

I found out the performance was still being demanded of me.

And, the lies were still being told.

I was still expected to shrink, smile and keep the secrets, like nothing ever happened to me.

Like I wasn’t an Unmasked Black Woman standing in her truth.

Like I hadn’t already decided —

NEVER AGAIN.

but I didn’t fall all the way apart that day,

I made a decision to transmute the fuck outta this innergy…

and then, I built a ritual out of it.

That ritual is called Burn Shit Down.❤️‍🔥

It starts April 15th. Right here…In The Stu. 🎵🌹

This is exclusively for Black Women who know exactly what I mean when I say,

“I have been performing safety in rooms that were never safe for me.”

or “I have been keeping secrets that were never mine to keep.”

Especially, “I have been maintaining a peace that costs me everything and costs them nothing.”

Join me, if you dare. 😏🔥

Before I close, let’s be clear…

This entry IS NOT a mental breakdown.

It’s a public declaration of my voice.

I am no longer available for scripts.

I am no longer available for silence.

I am no longer keeping anyone’s secrets at the expense of my own body, my own truth or my own peace.

And if you’ve been waiting for permission to say the same thing —

consider this yours. 💌

You don’t have to share your story publicly, like I have AND WILL.

You don’t have to confront anyone.

You don’t even have to do this loudly or dramatically or on anyone timeline.

However, you do deserve to stop carrying what was never yours.

You do deserve to say what happened.

Even if, just to yourself.

Even if, just on paper.

Even if, just in our private, protected “Close Friends”. (We have a special, safe space for this topic, apply here:https://discord.gg/99ZrfARBYc to join us 🫶🏽)

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: She Was Here First…

She had a whole soundtrack before the world told her to turn it down.

This one’s for Judiee — teenage Paris, in her full unedited era.

Millennial bops. Nostalgic feels. and yes, it has GOGO. She insisted. ❤️‍🔥

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You Always, Black Woman. 🌹

I’m the first you run to when your world falls apart,

just dumping your weight with no care for my heart.

The nanny, the placeholder, the one on defense,

your built-in therapist, no need for consent.

I wipe every tear that fell while hiding mine,

holding you up steady while losing my spine.

I gave you my shoulder with strength I never owned,

learning way too early what it meant to be “grown”.

It’s “You’re in charge” cause you’re never home,

so I held it down like that house was my throne

but when you returned, it was back to the pain.

Then, I had to remember that I was “well-trained”…

To silence my gut and follow your lead,

don’t ask no questions, just give what you need.

Be seen but not heard, don’t think, just obey,

survival, for me, meant folding me away.

You taught me love came with terms and a price,

that money meant safety and men would suffice.

That doing whatever to get you a ring,

was worth more than truth…or anything.

But I didn’t believe it, not deep in my core,

your version of life never felt like mine to explore.

You handed me scripts that never matched what I feel,

tried molding my truth into something unreal.

Meanwhile…

You built you a life that looked stable and neat,

while chaos was dancing beneath my feet.

Told me to accept what you chose as my own,

while I was STILL asking…where the fuck is my home?!

I carried the weight, the silence, the role,

the fixer, the holder, the patch for YOUR soul

but somewhere inside me, something withdrew—

I finally get it…

I was NEVER a child to you.

So now, I release what was never mine,

unlearning every role that erased MY design.

No anger, just clarity. I’m cutting it through—

and choosing myself…

like I always was supposed to.

Some roles are assigned so early, we don’t realize they were never ours to carry. This piece isn’t about blame. It’s about clarity. About recognizing the ways we were conditioned to overextend, overgive, and override ourselves in the name of love…and what it takes to finally choose ourselves instead.

This is the END of the Mask.

The END of the Silence.

The Full RECLAMATION of Paris. 🌹

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: Still Standing by Monica

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You Always, Black Woman. 🪷

I don’t want to rush out of this month like it didn’t ask anything of us.

Like it didn’t shift anything, if not everything.

Like you didn’t notice yourself differently…at least once.

…

March felt like something.

Not loud.

Maybe. a little dramatic.

But definitely, presence.

March felt like things were being shown without forcing us to act on them yet.

So before we get into anything new in April,

Let’s take a moment and stay here for a second.

Monthly Self Return Check-In. 📓

No overthinking.

Just…breathe, ask the question, notice and write.

• What felt heavy this month?

• What felt softer than you expected?

• Where did you show up for yourself…even a little?

• Where did you abandon yourself…and why did that feel familiar?

• What are you still sitting with?

You don’t need to turn this into a lesson.

Just try not to skip past it.

The Soundtrack of March. 🎶

Some things are easier to feel than explain.

This is what March sounded like for The Stu.

What held us and what met us where we were.

Please, take what resonates… and leave what doesn’t.

The Booth. 🎙🌹

I created something on purpose.

Not for everyone.

Not meant to be, like all The Stu spaces.

Just a quieter, slightly safer “close friends” for the Black Women here who are actually DOING THE WORK of returning to themselves.

No performance.

No pressure to show up a certain way.

Just…CONNECTION AND HEALING IN REAL TIME!

If you feel called to be in that space, you can.

If not…nothing changes here.

The Booth.🎙🌹

Okay, Before We Go…

You don’t have to rush into the REAL NEW YEAR with a new version of yourself.

You don’t have to have it all figured out.

You don’t have to “start over.”

Just…don’t leave yourself behind trying to become someone new.

All you have to do is STAY TRUE AND LISTEN to yourself…the rest will follow.

That’s enough, I PROMISE. 🤞🏽

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: My Life by Mary J. Blige

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You Always, Black Woman. 🌹

Nothing is being taken away from you.

If anything, this is me coming closer.

…

I’ve been paying attention.

To what I share.
To what lands.
To what feels real…and what feels like I’m starting to drift.

And I don’t want this space to drift.

Not into content.
Not into performance.
Not into something that looks like everything else but just sounds like me.

That’s not what The Stu is.

So no…I’m not pivoting.

I’m getting clear.

What this actually means.

HerDiaryStudiio was never meant to be loud.

It’s not here to keep up.
It’s not here to over-deliver.
It’s not here to prove anything.

It’s here to hold something real.

A return.
A mirror.
A pause.

And to protect that…

I have to move differently.

More intentional.
More selective.
More honest about what belongs here… and what doesn’t.

What you’ll begin to notice.

Less noise.

Less “I should post this.”
Less filling space just to stay visible.

More presence.
More intention behind what’s shared.
More alignment between what I’m experiencing… and what you’re reading.

If it’s here, it’s because it’s real.

Not because it’s time to post.

Why should this matter to you?

This has never been a space where I hand you everything.

And it won’t become that.

Not because I don’t care…

but because this work doesn’t stick that way.

You don’t return to yourself by being guided through every step.

You return by noticing.
By choosing.
By being honest when no one is watching.

What I share here?

It’s support.
It’s reflection.
It’s something to sit with.

But the work…is still yours.

In the meantime, as I shift…

While I’m in this space of recalibrating…

I’m not going to flood this space with more.

No over-sharing.
No filling the silence just to stay present.

Just SPACE…

For you to sit with yourself without reaching for something new right away.

If you feel yourself wanting guidance this week…pause there.

Not to deny yourself support but to notice what comes up when it isn’t immediately available.

What you reach for.
What you avoid.
What gets louder.

You don’t always need more information.

Sometimes you need a moment where nothing new is added…

and you’re left with what’s already there.

Stay with that…Gently and Return Within.

But you know I can’t leave y’all without a little something:

So, I did create a “Real New Year” Vision Board for Us! If you want it, it’s posted below. Let me know in the comments if you want to do a group video chat so I can show you how to make your own on Canva FOR FREE. 😏

Just so we are clear,

I’m not disappearing.

I’m just moving with more intention.

Protecting the space.
Protecting the energy.
Protecting what this space AND brand, overall, actually is.

And if you’re here, you probably feel that shift too.

A Note from Paris. 🦄

We’re not rushing into the next version of anything.

We’re letting it become clear first.

That includes me.

That includes you.

🎵 Her Current Frequency: Borderline (An Ode to Self Care) by Solange

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You Always, Black Woman. 🌹

Not the kind you rush through.
The kind you actually feel.

Inhale: 1...2...3...4

Exhale with a sound: 1...2...3...4

Most conversations about mental health stay in the mind.

Thoughts.
Patterns.
Figuring it out.
Trying to name everything correctly so it makes sense and yes…that matters.

Nevertheless, there comes a point where the mind starts doing too much.
Carrying too much.
Trying to solve what was never meant to be solved there alone.

Sometimes…the body needs to be included.

Not fixed.
Not analyzed.
Just…invited back in.

Aromatherapy is one of the quiet ways to do that.

Not complicated. Not performative.

Just scent, breath and whatever your body decides to do with it.

Before you even realize it, your nervous system has already responded.

A smell can soften you.

Another can awaken you .

Some feel like something familiar…even if you can’t explain why and that’s the part we don’t always talk about.

Your body remembers things your mind hasn’t caught up to yet.

Healing Through the Her Senses

A lot of us learned how to live from the neck up.

Always thinking.
Always processing.
Always trying to “get it right.”

Even and especially in healing, but not everything shifts because you understood it.

Some things shift because you felt something different and let that be enough.

A candle lit with intention.
Not for aesthetics… just because you needed a softer ending to your day.

Steam from a shower filling the room while you finally exhale.

A scent that lets your body know it can come down now.

It doesn’t look like much from the outside…but your body reads it differently.

It reads it as:
we’re safe enough to feel.

And for a lot of us…
that’s new.

Her Simple Start…

You don’t need a collection.
You don’t need to get it perfect.

Just notice what your body leans toward.

Lavender
For when everything feels a little too loud.

Peppermint
When your mind feels scattered and you need to come back into yourself.

Eucalyptus
When your chest feels heavy…emotionally or physically.

Sweet Orange
For light. Not forced happiness… just a little lift.

And if none of these feel right?

Good.

That means you’re listening.

Sensuality, Reclaimed

Sensual doesn’t have to mean sexual.

That’s just what we were taught.

Sensual is slower than that.

Quieter than that.

It’s noticing.

The way something smells.
The way your body reacts.
The way you soften… or don’t.

It’s being inside your experience
instead of watching yourself have one.

Aromatherapy isn’t the healing.

It’s an opening.

A small, accessible way
to return to your body
without forcing anything out of it.

And sometimes…

that’s where the real work begins.

Sensual Self-Return Prompt. 📝

What does your body reach for when it wants comfort?

Not what sounds right.
Not what you think it should be.

• What actually softens you?

• What scents feel familiar…or unexpectedly emotional?

There are memories in your senses.

You don’t have to force them out.

Just notice what shows up.

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: Green Eyes by Erykah Badu

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You Always, Black Woman. 🌹

There’s a version of healing that people are comfortable witnessing.

The quiet kind.

The aesthetic kind.

The kind that looks soft, controlled and easy to digest.

Then, there’s the real kind.

The kind where you have to enforce boundaries with people who are used to having access to you.

The kind where silence is no longer protection…it becomes self-abandonment.

The kind where choosing yourself doesn’t look graceful to everyone watching.

This week IN REAL LIFE, I had to remind people…publicly…that I am no longer available for certain dynamics.

Not out of anger, not out of spite.

Out of clarity FOR THE ENTIRE SMEAR CAMPAIGN AT ONE TIME BECAUSE I AM DONE!!!

I AM DONE SHUTTING UP FOR OTHER PEOPLE’S COMFORT.

I AM DONE GIVING GRACE WHERE IT IS NOT DUE.

I AM DONE ACTING LIKE I AM NOT THE ONE MAKING ALL THIS SHIT SHAKE.

Healing will ask you to do things that don’t always look “healed” to others, especially when you come from environments where your boundaries were never respected to begin with.

Also, when people are used to a version of you that tolerated more than you should have.

So when you change, when you become more aware, when you start protecting your peace…

It can feel like disruption to people who benefited from your silence but disruption is NOT dysfunction.

Sometimes, it’s alignment.

I am not interested in performing healing.

I am committed to practicing it and a lot of times that practice looks like distance.

Sometimes it looks like silence.

And other times…it looks like being very clear about what is no longer welcome in my life.

Nevertheless, this week is still Therapy Week; God just had some extra messages for us. Lmao.

She said, remember “Sometimes, Crashing Out IS a form of therapy as well, especially if you are a former people pleaser.”

Eye Love You Always, Black Woman. 🌹

💌 Her Self-Return Prompt

Have you ever set a boundary that made other people uncomfortable?

Did you shrink back once you realized or did you stand on business? Why?

🎵 Her Channelled Frequency: Set It Off by Lil Boosie

Not the rushed kind.

The kind where your shoulders drop a little and your mind pauses long enough to actually arrive here.

Inhale: 1...2...3...4

Exhale with a sound: 1...2...3...4

Sometimes we think therapy begins when something dramatic happens.

A crisis.

A breakdown.

A moment where life becomes impossible to ignore.

However, therapy can begin much more quietly than that.

Sometimes, it begins the moment something inside of you whispers:

“I deserve to understand myself better.”

Not because you’re broken or something is “wrong” with you.

Simply because life moves quickly and most of us were never taught how to pause long enough to study our own emotional world.

We have responded to challenging situations.

We have navigated through complex relationships.

We made crucial decisions that shape entire chapters of our lives.

Yet, very rarely do we stop to ask:

Why did that comment linger in my chest for days?

Why does that memory still make my stomach tighten?

Why do I keep attracting the same patterns in different forms?

Why do certain situations make me feel small, defensive, or exhausted in ways that I can’t immediately explain?

These questions are not signs of weakness. They are signs of awareness.

Awareness is often where healing begins.

Therapy gives you permission to ask those questions without rushing yourself toward immediate answers.

It invites curiosity instead of judgment.

I feel, for many Black Women, hesitation around therapy has never been about weakness.

It comes from history.

History of generations of Black Women who had to prioritize their survival above everything else.

When our grandmothers had to hold families together without rest…

When our mothers learned how to endure pain quietly just to keep life moving…

We inherited a language of strength that often leaves very little room for softness.

Therefore, vulnerability can start to feel unfamiliar, unsafe, unnecessary, even

but reflection is not a luxury, reflection is maintenance for the soul.

Just like the body needs rest, the mind and spirit need space to process what they’ve experienced.

Without that space, emotions don’t disappear; they simply settle deeper into the body.

They turn into tension,

They turn into patterns.

They almost always turn into reactions we don’t innerstand.

Therapy doesn’t erase life’s hardships.

It doesn’t magically undo everything we’ve been through.

It DOES offer is something powerful and often overlooked:

Perspective.

A place where your experiences can be examined with compassion instead of survival instinct.

A place where patterns become visible.

Where emotions gain language.

Where the story you’ve been living begins to make more sense.

Innerstanding yourself is one of the most powerful forms of healing there is because when you innerstand yourself, you move differently.

You choose differently.

You protect your energy differently.

You begin responding to life from awareness instead of old survival patterns.

That shift alone can change everything....

Her Self-Return Prompt. 💌

Sit with this gently.

Is there a question about yourself that you’ve been avoiding?

Maybe something about a relationship pattern.

A boundary you struggle to hold.

A feeling that keeps resurfacing when certain situations arise.

What might happen if you allowed yourself to explore that question honestly?

Not with judgment.

Not with pressure to immediately solve it.

Just with curiosity.

Sometimes the most powerful step in healing is simply allowing yourself to ask the question.

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: D’Evils by SiR

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You Always, Black Woman. 🌹

Not the rushed kind.

The kind where your shoulders drop a little and your mind pauses long enough to actually arrive here because there are certain words that make people tense up before the conversation even begins.

Inhale: 1...2...3...4

Exhale with a sound: 1...2...3...4

Therapy is most definitely one of those buzzwords that may tense you up, especially in our community.

Somewhere along the way, many of us were taught that therapy was only for people who were “crazy,” unstable, or broken in ways that needed fixing. That’s if you were “strong enough”, “prayed enough”, or “pushed through enough”, you could handle life on your own.

For a lot of us, especially Black Women, “pushing through”, “holding down” and “ride or die” became a survival language.

We learned it early.

We learned how to read the temperature of a room before we even spoke.
How to shrink certain emotions so other people would feel comfortable.
How to keep moving even when our inner world felt tangled, heavy, or quietly exhausted.

Strength meant endurance.

Strength meant silence.

Strength meant figuring it out without asking for too much help.

And over time, that version of strength became so normal that the idea of sitting down and saying “Actually… this hurt me.” can feel almost unnatural, like a “sin” even. So, when the word therapy enters the conversation, a lot of things come with it.

Judgment.
Fear.
Cultural Stigma.
The quiet voice that says, “You should be able to handle this.”

But strength has been misinnerstood for a very long time, especially for us because surviving difficult things does not mean they never affected you and acknowledging that impact is not weakness.

It’s awareness.

Therapy IS NOT a Bad Word!

It isn’t reserved for people who are “mentally ill.”

Therapy, at its core, is simply a space where honesty is allowed to exist without punishment.

A space where your experiences are not minimized.
Where your emotions are not rushed.
Where you can look at your life without immediately needing to perform strength.

Sometimes, that space is with a “licensed professional” or a TRUSTED reader/life coach, who helps guide the conversation.

Sometimes, it’s a late night conversation with someone you trust and can hold space without trying to fix everything.

Sometimes, it’s sitting alone or in The Stu with your journal, pen in hand, finally writing the truth you’ve been carrying quietly for years.

EVERY TIME, it’s talking to God; Source; The Universe.
It’s reflection.
It’s allowing yourself to admit something you previously avoided.

Those are just a few examples, therapy can look like many things.

At its heart, it’s simply the practice of giving your inner world the same attention you give everything else in your life because many of us were taught how to care for everyone else but very few of us were taught how to sit with ourselves long enough to understand what we actually feel and understanding yourself is not self-indulgent.

It’s foundational.

When you begin to innerstand your emotional patterns, your triggers, your protective habits and the ways you learned to survive, something powerful starts to happen.

You gain language for experiences that once felt confusing, you begin to see yourself with more compassion and you start making choices that come from awareness instead of pure survival.

Therapy is not about being broken.

It’s about being human enough to reflect.

Reflection is one of the first steps in Returning to Self.

Therapeutic Self-Return Prompt. 📝

Take a moment and sit with this honestly.

What emotions come I when you hear the word therapy?

Curiosity?
Resistance?
Relief?
Skepticism?

There is no wrong answer here.

Now ask yourself another question:

Where do you think those beliefs originally came from?

Family conversations?
Church teachings?
Cultural messaging?
Past experiences?

Sometimes, the beliefs we carry about healing were never ours to begin with and noticing that is often the first step toward rewriting the story.

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: Triggered Protection Mantra

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You Always, Black Woman. 🌹

Here in The Stu, we’re talking about something that has quietly reshaped the way I understand myself.

Therapy.

Not the aesthetic version.
Not the version that fits neatly into motivational quotes.

The real kind.

The kind that makes you realize some of the traits you thought were “just your personality” were actually survival skills.

The kind that gently (and sometimes not so gently) asks you to reconsider the stories you’ve been telling yourself about your life.

Therapy isn’t as scary or dramatic as it may seems. It is simply a safe space specifically created for you to heal the confusions of life with self solely, with others you trust OR with a “licensed professional”. It isn’t as inaccessible as society may deem it to be, it’s giving yourself the space to be present in how YOU are feeling about your life.

For me, talk therapy never worked because I knew what they were going to say before they said it. I am pretty sure it’s because I am too self aware, I saw their pain was the driver vs. actually listening to mine and my own training in psychology. Shit just never worked and before you say anything about “the right one”, I’ve tried multiple times and I’m only talking to someone who I feel can innerstand my experiences because MY SHIT CAN GET HEAVY, I just carry it well and put it down frequently. ☕️

What I will say is It reintroduced me to parts of myself that had been buried under years of surviving.

This week, we’re going to talk about things like:

Survival Mode
Emotional Armor
Life Audits & Rest
Learning to Meet Yourself Honestly

Most Importantly, some tools and rituals to help you on the journey at your pace.

None of this is about fixing yourself.

It’s about innerstanding yourself.

And sometimes that innerstanding feels heavy but sometimes it feels like relief.

If you’re in a season of asking deeper questions about who you are and how you got here, you’re in the right place.

Stay Honest with Yourself as YOU Return. 🫶🏽

Welcome to All Things “Therapy” Week in The Stu.❤️‍🩹

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: Worthy by Jeremih & Jhene Aiko.

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You Always, Black Woman. 🌹

There are moments on the path of returning to yourself when everything becomes…strange.

Not scary exactly.

Just unfamiliar.

Your body feels different. Your emotions move in waves you can’t quite predict. One moment you feel deeply grounded in your truth, the next moment you feel like you’ve been emotionally run over by a bus that you never saw coming.

For many people on their spiritual journeys, this phase is often described as the ascension symptoms.

Now let me say this before we go any farther: nothing about this experience means something is “wrong” with you. Quite often it means something old is leaving you.

When we begin releasing identities that were built around survival, people pleasing, trauma, silence, and self-abandonment, our nervous system has to recalibrate. Our spirit begins stretching into spaces we have never occupied before; and while growth is beautiful, it is also disruptive.

You may notice yourself feeling more tired than usual. Not the kind of tired that a nap fixes, but a deeper exhaustion that feels like your spirit is doing construction work while you sleep.

You may find yourself crying more easily or feeling deep emotions that seem to come out of nowhere. Old memories surface. Old anger. Old grief. Things you thought you had “moved pass” suddenly wants to be acknowledged one more time before they leave.

Sometimes your body feels sensitive to everything.

Noise. Crowds. Conversations that used to feel normal now feel draining. Your tolerance for masking becomes very low.

This is not weakness.

This is your spirit refusing to perform anymore.

For Black Women especially, this process can feel even more intense because many of us were raised inside generations of emotional endurance. We were taught how to hold everything together, to keep moving and to stay strong even when our spirit was screaming for rest.

So when the body finally says, “we are not carrying all of that shit anymore,” it can feel like chaos but what is actually happening is realignment.

Your spirit is reorganizing what belongs to you and what never did.

You may also notice that certain relationships begin to feel different. Conversations that once felt easy, may now feel forced. Places that once felt familiar, may start to feel heavy. This is not you becoming difficult.

It is you becoming clear.

Ascension is not about becoming a perfect, peaceful, floating spiritual being. It is about becoming honest with yourself.

And honesty changes everything.

If you find yourself in one of these seasons right now, the most important thing you can do is SLOW DOWN.

• Drink some water.

• Rest when you feel you need to.

• Journal what is coming up without trying to fix it immediately.

• Let your body lead instead of forcing it to keep up with the world.

Transformation rarely looks glamorous while it is happening.

Sometimes it looks like canceling plans.

Sometimes it looks like crying in the shower.

Sometimes it looks like staring at the ceiling while your mind pieces together a new innerstanding of your life but slowly, quietly, something begins to settle…

Clarity replaces confusion.

Peace replaces tension.

Your intuition becomes louder than outside opinions.

And one day you realize that the woman you were before this process began… simply doesn’t fit anymore.

Not because she was wrong, but because you outgrew the version of yourself that survived when you were still learning who you were.

So if this is you, take it as a sign that your spirit is demanding space to evolve.

You are not losing yourself.

You are meeting a deeper version of yourself for the first time, if you allow it.

And that meeting deserves patience, softness, and rest.

Especially for us, Black Women. Goddesses. Priestesses.

Put some respect on your temple baby, it’s catching up. ☕️

Currently, I am feeling ALL of this, which makes even more sense because I am taking myself more seriously, regardless if anyone else is. This experience has been amazing, eye-opening and confirming and I love it here…

but BABYYYYY, I feel my body doing something 😆

I am sleepier, sluggish and have no desire to be visible at the moment. So this weekend, I will not be available because I need myself more than anything but I wanted to leave my community with this because you may be experiencing the same.

If you are, God says, “Get some rest, you’re recalibrating and need some space to do so !!!” ☕️

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: Cleva by Erykah Badu

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You Always, Black Woman. 🌹

I am no longer claiming the label of Strong Black Woman.

Not because I lack strength.

But because I’ve seen what the label permits.

For me, It has permitted dismissal.

It has permitted emotional neglect.

It has permitted people to extract from me while convincing themselves I could handle it.

Strength became the reason I wasn’t protected; and the hardest realization?

It wasn’t only external.

Some of my most vulnerable moments were met with critique instead of comfort. Often by Black Women. Often by relatives. The very women I was told were my safest place.

That truth hurt more than anything.

At first, it made me angry.

Then bitter.

Then distant.

I started pulling away from every woman in my life because if I couldn’t be soft there, where could I be?

But bitterness began draining me.

So I healed.

While intentionally, not aesthetically, healing, I learned something deeper:

Some of them did not keep me safe because they did not know how.

Now, that statement can easily become an excuse.

So let’s go further…

Not knowing how is a starting point, It cannot be the ending.

If we truly desire to return to ourselves, we must identify the wound, acknowledge the harm, reflect honestly, and choose differently.

The Strong Black Woman archetype was survival but survival is not wholeness.

Strength without softness becomes armor.

Armor keeps harm out but it also keeps intimacy out.

So the real question is not whether we are strong.

The question is: at what cost?

What has it cost us emotionally?

Relationally?

Physically?

Spiritually?

I am no longer interested in surviving well.

I am interested in living whole.

I am also interested in who we are when we don’t have to survive.

This is my devotion of this season.

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: Free by Perri Jones

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You Always, Black Woman. 🌹

Are you still walking around afraid to make yourself happy because of what someone else might feel about it?

…Pause there.

Because that question alone reveals how much permission we still outsource.

There was a time when I lived exactly like that. My life was filled with quiet disappointment. People pleasing disguised as kindness. Overextending disguised as loyalty. Accepting less disguised as patience. Every rising felt heavy, and yet I kept telling myself it was just a “season.”

But it wasn’t a season…it was self-abandonment.

For me, it was easier to blame everyone else. The friends who overstepped the boundaries I never placed. The partners who underdelivered as I overdelivered to compensate it. The family who purposely misunderstood me. Sure, they played their part butt when I began to assess my own patterns honestly, something became undeniable…

The only common denominator in every situation was me. ☕️

Even when I wasn’t the one causing harm, I was the one ignoring my intuition. I was the one overriding red flags. I was the one shrinking to maintain connection.

That realization, though gut-wrenching, was not shameful.

It was powerful…

Because the moment I accepted my own truth, I stopped negotiating with it.

And that is where devotion begins.

Not in aesthetic spirituality. Not in posting affirmations.

But in radical self-honesty.

Accepting MY truth established trust within. It created an internal rapport. The kind that allows you to hear your intuition clearly. The kind that strengthens your relationship with your spirit team because you are no longer arguing with the guidance you receive. ☕️

When you start trusting yourself, your world shifts.

And yes, it will ruffle feathers.

Only because clarity changes access.

The same people who were comfortable with the version of you that tolerated everything will feel disrupted by the version of you that doesn’t.

They will start to project:

“You changed.”

“You’re different.”

“You all spiritual now.”

And the correct response?

“You’re right.”

Or silence.

Not defensive. Not combative. Just grounded.

Because when you know yourself, you don’t need to debate yourself.

Knowing yourself is the greatest gift you can give yourself. It protects your energy. It sharpens your discernment. It stops you from volunteering for situations that drain you.

Nevertheless, let’s not romanticize it, this path can feel lonely in the physical realm.

There are moments when you outgrow spaces you once felt safe in. Moments when you have to remove access from people you genuinely love. Moments when you clearly see how others truly feel about you and it stings.

Growth is not isolation for aesthetic. It is alignment at a cost.

A tower moment before the fresh foundation, if you will.

Yet, every revelation confirms something deeper. Each uncomfortable truth validates your intuition. Each boundary strengthens your internal foundation.

This is one of the core pillars of HerDiaryStudiio:

Self-Honesty before Self-Soothing.

We do not bypass. We do not spiritualize avoidance. We do not perform evolution for applause.

We handle our business!

The real question isn’t whether people will react to your growth.

They will.

The question is: are you willing to be at peace with yourself even if it disrupts your comfort with others?

As the Late, Great Nipsey Hussle once said, “Would you rather be at peace with the world and at war with yourself, or at peace with yourself and at war with the world?”

That is the decision that you have the free will to make.

So how are you going to act about you?!

Sit with that.

Devotion is not about changing your life overnight.

It’s about telling yourself the truth one day at a time and letting that be enough to begin.

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: W.A.Y.S by Jhene Aiko

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You Always, Black Woman. 🌹

Yes, it’s that time again.

Astronomically, appears to move backwards in the sky. It’s an optical illusion. Energetically, it feels like life is tapping you on the shoulder saying, “Slow down. We’re not skipping this lesson.”

This cycle began on the 26th and closes on March 20th. A poetic beginning. The REAL NEW YEAR refuses to let you sprint into it without reviewing your current chapter.

Let’s clear something up…

Retrograde is not here to destroy your life. It’s not cosmic punishment. It’s not spiritual chaos.

It’s audit season.

Communication glitches. Technology delays. Old situations resurfacing. Exes suddenly remembering your number. Plans shifting. Emotions rising, especially being in Pisces this go round.

None of it random.

Retrograde highlights what’s unfinished, unprocessed, unaligned.

So instead of panicking, what if we partnered with it? 🤔

Me personally, I love retrograde season. Not in a dramatic way, but in a disciplined way.

It feels like a designated time to pause and ask, “Is this actually working for me?”

Not working on paper.
Not working for optics.
Working within my body.

Within my spirit.

This retrograde has felt less like chaos and more like reflection.

A reflection of who I’ve grown into.
A reflection of what no longer triggers me.
A reflection of what I’ve already released.

Since the last retrograde, I’m almost two-years postpartum (a HUGE DEAL for me) Also, I’ve gone no contact with most of my toxic relatives and stopped ALL of my side hustles…

Some people would call that loss.

I call it decluttering my destiny.

Anchors feel heavy when you’re meant to ascend.

And here’s the real shift: I no longer interpret release as lack. I interpret it as preparation.

That’s growth.

That’s abundance maturing.

This retrograde, I’m giving myself my flowers. Not performatively. Privately.

I am proud of the woman who didn’t fold when life reshaped itself.

I am grateful for the version of me who chose evolution over ego.

I am honoring the Phoenix Innergy within me. Not because it sounds poetic but because I have actually risen. Repeatedly.

This retrograde, I’m loving on myself intentionally.

If it feels forced, I’m questioning it.

If it feels draining, I’m reassessing it.

If it reappears from my past, I’m observing it.

And if technology glitches? I’m not spiraling. I’m breathing. I’m being present. I’m remembering that control is an illusion anyway.

Retrograde says: SLOW DOWN!!!

Reflect.

Release with intention.

Not everything that falls away is a setback. Some things expire because you’ve outgrown that container.

Here’s the playful part.

If someone resurfaces during this time, it’s not romance. It’s a pop quiz.

Listen, we do not fail tests we’ve already passed.

Return to sender.

Retrograde is not about fear.

It’s about responsibility.

It asks:

Where are you still overextending?
Where are you ignoring your intuition?
Where are you pretending something is fine when it’s simply familiar?

The glass has always been half full.

You just had to stop shaking it long enough to see.

So tell me.

How will you move this retrograde now that you understand it’s a mirror and not a monster? 👁️

🎧 Her Channelled Retrograde Frequency: Get It Together by India Arie

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You Always, Black Woman. 🌹

There is a version of you that learned early how to survive.

She learned what was acceptable.
What was lovable.
What was safe to show.

And she built a mask accordingly.

For many Black Women, that mask was crafted carefully.

“Be strong.”
”Be composed.”
”Be desirable but not too sexual.”
”Be ambitious but not intimidating.”
”Be nurturing but never needy.”
”Be resilient but never fragile.”

The shadow is not evil.
It is everything that did not fit inside those instructions.

Your anger.
Your neediness.
Your sensuality.
Your jealousy.
Your exhaustion.
Your softness.
Your grief.

The shadow forms wherever love felt conditional.

As children, we learned which parts of us received praise.
Those parts became the ego.
The acceptable face.

And the parts that made adults uncomfortable?
They were tucked away.
Not because they were wrong.
But because they were inconvenient.

For Black Girls especially, shadow often forms around:

• vulnerability
• sexuality
• dependence
• emotional expression
• rest
• self-focus

We learned that survival required performance but what we suppress does not disappear.

It waits.

If ignored, the shadow speaks through behavior.

It can show up as:

Overgiving until you are empty.
Choosing partners who mirror your unhealed wounds.
Hyper-independence that isolates you.
Sexual patterns that confuse you.
Self-sabotage when things get stable.
A quiet rage you don’t know where to put.

Not because you are broken because you are fragmented.

Meeting your shadow is not about becoming darker.

It is about becoming whole.

It is saying:

The version of me that was “too much”
The version that was “too emotional”
The version that wanted more
The version that felt angry

She deserves a seat at the table too.

When I ignored my shadow, it showed up as self-sacrifice disguised as love.
As over-sexualizing myself to feel wanted.
As abandoning my needs before anyone else could.

It wasn’t drama.
It was disconnection.

The more we avoid our shadow, the louder it becomes.
Not to punish us.
To integrate us.

You CANNOT claim self-love while exiling parts of yourself.

The work is not to destroy the ego.
It is to expand it enough to hold the shadow gently.

And when you do, something shifts.

You stop chasing validation.
You stop performing strength.
You stop confusing chaos for chemistry.
You start trusting your intuition.
You start resting without guilt.

The shadow holds gifts.

Creativity lives there.
Boundaries live there.
Sensual power lives there.
Honest rage lives there.
Truth lives there.

Wholeness is not perfection.

It is integration.

A Divine Reflection. 💌

Where did you first learn that a part of you was “too much”?

What emotion did you have to silence to be accepted?

If that version of you sat across from you right now, what would she say?

Do not judge her.
Listen.

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: Cleo Sol - Why Don’t You

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You Always, Black Woman. 🌹

As a Black Wombman, I used to think power had to be loud to be real.

Though society expects a Black Woman to sit quietly as she holds the entire world together with her nervous system.

Nevertheless, I see our divine power differently now.
In the way we hold rooms without raising our voices.
In the way we carry generations in our posture.
In the way we keep loving even after suriviving the “Stay Down”.

There is something about the Black Womb that this country has always known how to use, but never how to honor.

Our wombs built this nation.
Through birth.
Through labor.
Through endurance.
Through survival that history books sanitize.

And still, the reverence is missing.

The Black Womb is not just an organ.
It is a sacred archive.

It holds memory.
It holds grief that was never processed.
It holds lullabies sung through exhaustion.
It holds prayers whispered over children in the dark.
It holds the resilience of women who did not have the luxury of softness.

Black women have always been THE creators beyond biology.

We create culture.
We create language.
We create rhythm.
We create movements.
We create safety where none was designed for us.

And still, we are expected to shrink.

To be strong but not soft.
To lead but not be centered.
To nurture but not need.
To carry but not collapse.

BUT WE ARE THE MOTHERS OF THIS LAND !!!!!!

Becoming a mother did not give me magic.
It revealed the magic I already carried.

It reminded me that my body is sacred even in a society that politicizes it.
That my softness is revolutionary.
That my rest is resistance.
That my joy is ancestral healing.

The Black Womb is cyclical.
It bleeds and does not die.
It births and does not break.
It mourns and still finds rhythm.

We are not just resilient.
We are sacred.

To be a Black Wombman is to hold both fire and water.
To be lineage and future at the same time.
To know that your existence is political and spiritual simultaneously.

We do not need to be worshipped.
We need to be protected.
Respected.
Cherished.
Supported.

The Divine Feminine in Black Women is not a trend.
It is a legacy.

And I am done treating it like anything less…

Put reverence on Black women!
Put protection around Black mothers!
Put softness back into the bodies that have carried too much for too long!

We are not just strong.

We are sacred.

Sacred Womb Reflection. 💌

Sit somewhere quiet.

Place one hand over your womb space.
Even if you have never carried a child.
Even if you never plan to.
Even if that part of your body feels complicated.

Just breathe.

Notice what lives there.

Is it tight?
Is it tired?
Is it numb?
Is it warm?

Your womb holds more than biology.
It holds memory.
It holds protection.
It holds unspoken stories.

Ask gently:

What have I been carrying here that is not mine?
What grief settled in my body before I had language for it?
What creation is waiting for my permission?

Do not force answers.
Let your body respond in sensation, not sentences.

Then write for five minutes without lifting your pen.

No polishing.
No performing.
Just listening.

And when you’re done, place both hands over your womb and say quietly:

I honor what you have carried.
I release what was never meant to stay.

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: Sacred Space by India Arie

Sing this song to YOURSELF…to your womb and RELEASE whatever feelings come up without fighting or judging them.

Simply Release and Celebrate YOU.

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You Always, Black Woman. 🌹