So before Black Pride Month ends, I promised a depiction of My Queer Experience thus far but where tf do I start, I don’t where to begin 🎶.

Okay so it’s 2007, I am on my fat back computer minding my business and lesbian porn popups begins to take over my screen. My first reaction was to rush and delete everything before I got in trouble but then I realized, I was home alone. 😈

So, I calmed my nerves and decided to press one…

Bitch, I went down a rabbit hole to a world that felt familiar, even though I had never done anything remotely similar, besides mastrubating a couple times but watching it?! HELL NAHH! 😂 The sensations I felt within my body and in my pants as I watched two women be intimate, just felt right…

I mean I’ve always had this unexplainable feeling for women but I never explored the thought pass an “Oh she’s gorgeous; I’d kiss her.” 🙈🤣 Nevertheless, from that day on, if I had the house to myself, which was frequent, I was on that computer exploring all things lesbian while allowing my mind and fingers to follow their own rhythm. My spirit felt comfortable and the more comfortable I got with who I was, the more I began interacting with women in the real world too.

Let’s be clear, this wasn’t just some computer fantasy, this was my secret, primary feelings coming out to be seen and felt for the first time. For the longest, dick used to disgust and scare me so bad. 😆 I always looked at males as friends, predators or enemies. Idk, if it was my fucked up relationship with my father, the other males I watched hurt my mother or predatory nature of the males around me, including relatives and their old dirty ass friends. I truly hated them and was not afraid to let it be known.

I constantly “scared away” strange men from my mother in public. I used to fight boys in school, on a consistent basis, for touching me without permission. I protected all my friends from the tomfoolery of male nature…a pitbull by nature because my parents didn’t play that soft shit. lol

People always called me, “Tomboy” ,“Little Boy”, “Boy in a Dress”…sometimes even, “Baby Dike” because I dressed like a boy, I acted like one and if you saw me with one, romantically, they were my best friend that turned into a lil boyfriend after while. 🤣 It wasn’t until 9th grade, when I started hearing that I needed to wear more skirts, dresses and purses. I kept hearing, “you’re a girl, you shouldn’t wear or do that” or “how are you gonna get a date looking or being like this” and that shit started to get to me a little because I’m like…

“Was I doing something wrong for being all of me?!”

And as much as I heard it, I must’ve been…so I gave in and became more “girly”. I started getting my hair done regularly, nails became a things, less sneakers and more makeup…Of course, the transformation got a “good responses” from everywhere. I became a model. I begin getting more attention from males, getting asked on more dates, more little boyfriends…and that was the validation would want and this is what I’m supposed to do…

Right?!

By tenth grade, I moved from Largo HS to Gwynn Park HS and I looked better so, I am attracting males like it’s nothing and due conditioning, I thought that was what I wanted. However deep down, I wanted to attract and befriend the Queer girls around me. Of course, I didn’t know the entire dynamics of anyone’s lives but I wanted to be as confident and not give a fuck enough to be all of me again. Most of them looked like they were free to do, say, wear and be all of themselves all the time…that is what I admired most. I remember I had the biggest crush on this girl on my Volleyball team. We flirted all day, our intimacy was there, connection was crazyyyy but we both were still “in the closet”, so we never acted pass the flirting. I wanted her so bad and we’re both out now so, if you ever read this, call me BB. 😏

By Junior Year, I was confident and comfortable enough to come out, on Twitter, as Bisexual on my first pride month ever. That one tweet revealed so much…first, the love and acceptance I received being freshly out from my virtual and some friends at school. Then, I came home one day and found out somebody; idk who to this day; screenshot my tweets and sent them to my mother. Basically, outing me before I could have the conversation myself. That day, I came home to a disgusted face and a weird conversation that lead to disappointment and loneliness. The questions were passive aggressive and judgemental. The attitude was disgusted and uncomfortable. All the while, I am sitting there feeling confused and abandoned because her best friend of over 20 years is a lesbian. That experience alone, made me revert back into “boys only”…at least in front of her and that lasted until I finally left her house for college.

Now, we’re in college and baby, I’m away from home sooooooo…I became more open and fluid in my sexuality. College is where I had sex with a woman for the first time. I explored a multiple relationships with women, some sexually and others just flirting. I even, found myself in a polyamorous relationship for a little while, with a woman and a male. Now that, though short-lived and chaotic, was an experience I will never forget because it introduced me to a new desire.

Now, I wanted a husband and a wife.

Chileeeee, that polyamorous experience took me through the ringer, simply because It was another time that I experienced public scrutiny for simply being myself. When I came out and shared my throuple back in 2016, it WAS NOT as glorified as it is today. We got so many “Ewwwww’s”, “this isn’t right” and “Imma pray for you’s.” Yet behind the scenes, I’ve never felt so seen and loved by people that I actually loved in all my life. They didn’t even live by me but they were my babies and I frequently traveled to see them until we broke up. They even moved in town, we reconnected and it was more chaos but I just loved the feeling of being loved by multiple people. Nevertheless, the backlash I received made me be a little more quiet about that desire but elevated my desires for strictly dating women. So after college, dating women was my new romantic goal.

Throughout the years, I had about 3 official girlfriends but I also picked the ones who wanted to remain in the closet and ultimately, wanted to marry men. That shit discouraged me to the point that I ended up on dating apps; something I swore I would never do but I wanted to see what it was like. So I explored as a Unicorn, met a few people but nobody I was interested in until…I met my child’s father. Of course, I didn’t know that at the time but yeahhh, it was amazing. He was open to my sexuality…of course and we vibed heavy but I did learn that ultimately, he wanted monogamy so I concealed my urges…

Listennnn, I thought he was the one. Nevertheless, within a year and half, I got pregnant FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME and during my pregnancy, so much came up emotionally, mentally and spiritually, including my sexuality. I mean, it didn’t go away, I just concealed it for his comfortability. So, during some shadow work and I accepted that the urge is most definitely still here. Honestly, it’s stronger than ever, especially after my son was born…

I kept asking myself “Now that I am a mom, what I do with these STRONG urges?” and, “Can I still love women and be a mom or is this still ‘a phase’?”

but a 15 year phase? Be so fucking forreal. 😒🤣

Today, I am two years postpartum and I am officially Queer, instead of Bisexual, because after doing everything but sign a marriage contract with a man…I can genuinely say I WANT NO PARTS! lmao but I am still figuring the rest out. I am very much still a girly girl as far as looks, I am a sensual, beautiful woman and embrace that. However, my mannerisms, my attitude and sometimes, my overall personality is more masculine and I am learning that is okay. This experience in itself has taught me that I need to show up for ALL OF ME first and simple not give a fuck about what anybody has to say or how they fucking feel about it because THIS IS MY LIFE!

Showing up for MYSELF looks like:

• Maintaining and strengthening my relationship with God.

• Being sure I am the best mother I can be.

• Speaking my truth with confidence and discernment.

• Standing ten toes on my boundaries, values and morals.

• Making sure my nervous system is regulated.

• Having a good, unapologetic gay ole’ time.

• Being sure I am ALL OF ME without giving af about what anyone has to say or how they feel about it.

Not giving af on purpose is something I am still working on because I used to be a chronic people pleaser. So much so, that I have put myself in a few near-death and other traumatic situations. Yes, I know the fault isn’t all my own and there was some conditioning to ignore my intuition and trust that someone else tells me to be truth instead. However, ultimately it’s up to me heal this shit and move forward with the scars, not bleeding. So today, I am a lot more self aware and able to catch when I am not aligned but that takes time and I would be lying if I said I didn’t have my moments.

Actually, I am currently having one of those moments…

It took me all day to write this entry because I have been getting triggered. I can hear the negative comments before I even press publish and shame keeps creeping in but the main reason for this month was to SHARE MY QUEER STORY! I done created Taste The Rainbow Ritual & Taste Your Rainbow collection, all based off my story and I was still scared to share my full truth…

TODAY THAT ENDS! I AM HERE, I AM QUEER AND I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE BITCH!

Not calling anyone here a bitch, unless you the bitch that don’t fuck with a bitch, then it is fuck you bitch lmao. Don’t take my bars 🤣

Anywho, Eye Love You Queer Black Woman. Eye See You. Welcome Home.🌹

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: Morning by Tey & Keh

This is one of favorite Queer songs, I wanna make us a Queer playlist but I want some input from my Stu collective. Comment some your favorites please. 🏳️‍🌈👀

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

• In the Stu and in my life, “men” are males until they stop calling women “females” idc idc idc lmao.

Studiio Souvenirs & More in The Studiio. 🔊🌹

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You on Purpose, Black Woman.🌹

Alternative. Crunchy. Woowoo.

Whatever you want to call it — it doesn’t matter to me.

I am not just a rebel on the internet.

I don’t give a fuck on and off this screen. lmao

I don’t follow most norms.

I do witchcraft. I’m homeschooling on purpose. I smoke weed.

You can’t speak to my child any kind of way, simply “because he’s a child”.

You won’t have access to my child solely because you’re “related to or know me”.

Listen, as long as I know God is satisfied with what I am doing —

I could give two shits about your opinion.

This is in me. Not on me. ☕️

During my pregnancy I contemplated everything.

Who I was. Who I wanted to be on the other side of becoming a mother.

My morals. My values. My sexual orientation. My next business moves.

Everything.

Those first few months none of it felt relevant.

But as I emerged from that beautiful darkness —

I found myself returning to all of it again.

Different perspective. Same ME.

Yes, I most definitely have changed and will NEVER be the woman I was before I became a mom again.

Yes, this shit is foggy and I don’t always know what’s on the side.

But also yes —

I am still very into the occult, women and finding other taboo shit that everyone’s scared to discover or expose.

Yes, I still want to remain a creative entrepreneur, no matter how tough the journey gets.

Yes, I want to remain the ethereal, sensual, rebellious spirit that I’ve always been and I don’t want that to change simply because God has gifted me with another soul to share ME with.

I mean — I made it this far being me.

Made it through the negative ass innergies, the laughs, the betrayal and the pure hate for simply being.

And now because I have a child, I’m supposed to throw all of that away?

Nahh.

Regardless of popular belief — I don’t think that was ever the plan.

Evolving and healing to become the best mother you can be — the definition of which is determined by you —

ABSOLUTELY.

Dropping your complete identity to solely assume the roles of motherhood and nothing else?

FUCK NOOOOO!

The God I know WOULD NEVEERRRRRRR!

And I am so sorry, if someone modeled that for you.

Nevertheless, If nobody has ever told you honestly —

allow me…

You are WAYYYYY MORE than a mother.

You are magic.

You create magic…look at your seeds!

Tell me this, do you think God gave you the experience of creating AND RELEASING another life to simply end right there?

If so, cool exit here, respectfully…✌🏽😹

but if this message is hitting like I feel it is,

let me remind you to GET YOUR ASS UP and create some more shit!

Tap into that inner child and LET HER LIVEEEEE!

PLEASE, I AM BEGGING YOU FOR HER. LMAO

You’re an Artist. You’re a Musician. You’re a Chef.

You love making shit with your hands, free AND A FEE.

You make people feel good from the things you create, even if that very first creation was your child.

Damn, I didn’t mean to preach today but I feel like somebody in this Stu Collective of Ethereal Black Women needs this reminder…

BECAUSE YOU ALREADY KNOW IT, especially if you made it this far.

You know wassup, so stop playing with yourself AND GOD like that. ☕️

We need more of that BLACK Magic out here,

DO YOU SEE WHAT’S GOING ON!?

Anyways — that wasn’t the point of this.

Or maybe it was.

Because again — God rules everything around me. 🔥

(Don’t steal my bar either. We’re watching you. 👁)

I just came here to say — I’m going to always be ALL OF ME.

And evidently — you should doing the same thing.

If you felt this message,

and desire some real assistance returning to yourself —

I am holding a free 5-Day Self Devotion Workshop in The Booth.🎙🌹

This is a self-paced experience.

However, we will return to ourselves “alone but together.”

This means, the work is still on you — but we will hold space and accountability for those who desire that, for at least two of the five days in a virtual group setting within The Booth.

If that sounds like you want to align with — the first post drops next Moonday at 9am est.

Again, The Booth is free but it is also a private and protected space for a reason. So all you have to do is apply and if your innergy aligns with our space — YOU’RE IN AND WE WILL BEGIN!

This is open to everyone reading — Big Mama or not.

Hope to see you there.

Eye Love You on Purpose, Big Mama. 💋

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: Satisfaction by Eve

Anything you wanttttt…

Anything you neeeeeed…

EVERYTHING YOU ARE RIGHT HERE;

IN THIS MOMENT IS ENOUGH & PROTECTED.

God wants to give you everything you desire, but do you believe you deserve it or does that little voice inside take over every time to think about your wildest dreams?

Think about it. Then, meet me in The Booth, so we can talk more about it.

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

• I created a Big Mama subscriber chat here in The Stu but we’ll dive even deeper in The Booth.🎙🌹 EIther way, I am here to read and respond. Just be sure to share with yourself in mind, especially in the Big Mama Chat please. It’s not as protected as The Booth.

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You on Purpose, Big Mama.🌹

Today, I don’t want to talk about trauma, drama or bullshit.

Today is for me.

I don’t want any fake Happy Mother’s Day messages.

I don’t want to pour into anyone else.

I just want to be left alone.

Today I am mothering, loving, and kissing on myself.

Today I am doing nothing — including writing this entry.

Automation teas. ☕️

I deserve more than one day to be celebrated.

I deserve it every single day.

All of us Big Mamas do.

Not only because we mother our children —

but because we mother our communities on a consistent basis.

We mother the world on a consistent basis.

And we do it quietly, consistently, without nearly enough acknowledgment.

But we’re not talking about anyone else today. lmao

Today, I’M IGNORING THAT BABY. LMAO.

I’m rising with my EFT tapping and sensual yoga.

then, I’m walking around nude after my blazin, hot spiritual bath.

Next, I’m going to adorn myself in MY best handmade oils and jewelry.

She’s going to her first smoke session a money manifesting ritual with each puff and the last a protection one.

Then, she might play her Sims until her eyes get tired.

Might, virtually fly to Tahiti. Dance around the entire house in drag. Move in whatever way feels most like freedom TO ME.

Who cares.

This is MY FUCKING DAY. 🦊❤️‍🔥🎵🌹

To every Big Mama reading this —

You deserve a whole day that belongs entirely to you.

Not to your children. Not to your partner. Not to your community.

TO YOU.

Take it. Unapologetically. Without explanation.

Eye Love You Big Mama.💋

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: Bad Bitch Innergy by Savannah Cristina

This one is for us. NOBODY ELSE! 🌹

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

• I created a Big Mama subscriber chat here in The Stu but we’ll dive even deeper in The Booth.🎙🌹 EIther way, I am here to read and respond. Just be sure to share with yourself in mind, especially in the Big Mama Chat please. It’s not as protected as The Booth.

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You on Purpose, Big Mama.🌹

Before my journey even began —

I lost my grandfather, a.k.a Poppy, two weeks before my son was born.

So, I was already grieving a life before running into the grief that would be the death of my past self forever…

Like, he was fine at my gender reveal.

Laughing, slightly present, not fully himself but he just said, he was tired.

And then — just like that — he was gone.

Nobody even told me he was sick, all in the name of, they were “protecting my pregnancy.” but what nobody seems to get is that protection, actually feels like grand theft.

I didn’t get to prepare.

I didn’t get to say what I needed to say.

I didn’t get to hold that grief the way it deserved to be held.

I just had to cry it out, compartmentalize and prepare for labor.

The way I look at it now —

I Literally Lost One Angel to Gain Another.

Now, I was in labor and there’s literally no turning back…

I still had an all natural birth plan and I am proud of that, even though I wanted a homebirth and was convinced out of it. 😒

Anywho, that first few weeks after coming home is still a blur. lmao.

I breastfed, so it was mostly a recurring sequence of me eating, feeding and sleeping. I didn’t have much innergy for or interest in anything else.

Since the day that he came home, I was extremely selective about what innergies I allowed around my son.

No, I don’t want no visitors; idgaf your relation.

No, I don’t want your “motherly” advice about taking care of the child that I knew before you.

No, I don’t want your fake assistance that ultimately leads to me doing shit I don’t wanna do.

JUST LEAVE ME AND MY BABY THE FUCK ALONE.

Everyone besides his father consistently got on my fucking nerves, I couldn’t help it and didn’t care how it made anyone feel. If you didn’t like stay away from us, which is what I wanted anyway, so perfect. lmao

Another thing I deplored was when people said anything negative about my baby’s appearance.

I would always ready for all the smoke when someone mentioned his color, his hair or his size because watch how you speak over my starseed.

I am ALWAYS going to protect and defend my jit and I don’t care how anyone feels about it.

I don’t let people call him “bad” or “sensitive” — none of those demeaning labels that people put on children without thinking about how they might feel or what they might internalize.

Their connection to Source is ethereal and unimaginable. So just because they “can’t speak your language yet”, doesn’t mean they don’t innerstand your cadence and innergy behind it. ☕️

Yes, I am “one of those” moms that cares and protects her child’s mental and emotional wellbeing “early”.

They are not possessions or some after thought because they are smaller.

They are Divine Gifts from God.

She gifted us with the greatest responsibility of protecting and guiding HER starseeds until they can do it on their own.

This is why I didn’t — and never will — care about how anyone feels about the decisions I make for either of our lives.

I am ALWAYS following God; whether you innerstand or not.

Okay, Back to Postpartum Depression.

The way I feel it materialized for me was through neglect, avoidance, and anger.

No, fuck that — RAGE !

The way I felt so sad and lonely, while everyone around me just wanted the only spirit on this realm that made me feel seen and safe.

My Baby.

The way I broke down and spoke up every chance I got while everyone around reduced me down to “just her hormones.”

The grief of my Poppy sitting in the pit of my core; untouched, unacknowledged, unnamed — because nobody thought to ask how a woman grieves and gives birth in the same breath.

The rage of realizing that two extremely life-changing events have happened at the same time — and I was expected to perform gratitude for one while quietly burying the other within.

VERY REAL. VERY RAW. VERY REVEALING.

There were more revelations throughout…

The revelation of the way people truly feel about you after the smoke clears and that pregnant belly is gone or that, you’re now expected to be the most needed but the least cared for by everyone.

Coming to terms with the fact that no woman around me is going to properly acknowledge this process as the sacred transformation it is because nobody had acknowledged theirs.

This is a big one for me: Finding out that everyone who said they’d be my “village” disappeared — but still expected to be kept in the loop in the name of a false label; Family. Then, remembering — they were never really there for you anyway. You just hoped that you having a child would change their spirit the way it changed yours as you let them back in.

The loneliness. The shame. The dead silence. The grief, underneath all of it.

All of it and more — very much contributed to my final decision to go no contact with everyone connected to me but I went there in Burn Shit Down, so I digress.

I won’t lie — the fact that I don’t feel safe or comfortable to contact any relative still stings sometimes.

I miss my Poppy in this realm everyday.

but listennnnn, the amount of people that was at my block party of a baby shower vs. amount of people who have truly contacted or checked on me - let alone seen my son, to this very day?! THAT alone confirms everything I need to know.

Back then, I was so confused and didn’t innerstand how all this could be but. Now, I know it was one big innergy harvest and Me & My baby were the main course but that might be “too deep & woowoo” for some of yall. lol

Nevertheless —

I feel even today, I am still moving through pieces of PPD and PPR.

However, I also feel myself arriving.

Fully & Unapologetically Present.

Stepping into the Big Mama & Ethereal Black Woman I was always meant to become.

So allow me to reintroduce myself — Hi, my name is Paris Abundance aka Ethereal, One of a Kind Big Mama.💋

I am damn great, intentionally unorthodox mama.

A fucking force in this creative entrepreneurship space.

A Black Woman who loves all of herself and is no longer afraid to express it.

Who can’t, won’t, and doesn’t take no bullshit from anybody.

Whose boundaries are strict asf

and the love for herself and her son is the ENTIRE foundation of it all.

So, it looks like this entry just turned into a Thank You Letter to Postpartum.

Because who I am in the thick of it? THIS PARIS?!

She’s literally THAT BITCH; in all contexts of the word!

She’s UNAPOLOGETICALLY, UNFILTERED ON PURPOSE AND I LOVE AND ADMIRE HER SO FUCKING MUCH.

I LOVE IT HERE AND APPARENTLY I STILL HAVE EVEN MORE BLOOMING TO DO! So for me, IT’S UPPPPPPPPP! 🌹

If you’re open —

This space is yours too.

Drop your confession in the comments, The Big Mama subscriber chat or bring it to The Booth where it’s safer.

How did postpartum actually feel for you?

What did it reveal about the people around you?

Who are you now that you’ve moved through it?

No performing. No prettying it up. Just the truth. 🖤

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: I Got You by Ciara

Every time I sing this to my son, I can feel and hear God singing it to me. It’s the warmest, most healing feeling I’ve ever experienced and I thought I would share it with you and your starseeds.

Try it whenever you feel called: Just imagine God is singing this to you and let me know, how you feel afterwards or don’t I know it works for me. lol

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

• I created a Big Mama Subscriber Chat here in The Stu but we’ll dive even deeper in The Booth.🎙🌹 EIther way, I am here to read and respond. Just be sure to share with yourself in mind, especially in the Big Mama Chat please. It’s not as protected as The Booth.

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You on Purpose, Big Mama.🌹

Not like this.

And I don’t mean the “hard parts” everybody warns you about — the uncontrollable emotions, the sleep deprivation, the overwhelm or the way your body becomes someone else’s home before it gets to be yours again.

I mean the specific, particular, unnamed experience of being a Black Mother in a world that expects you to do all of it without flinching.

Without asking for help, falling apart or admitting that some days you’re not sure you’re doing anything right.

That experience that nobody talks about…Until now.

Welcome to The Big Mama Confessional. 💋

This is a space I created because I needed it to exist and it didn’t.

A safe space where Black Mothers a.k.a Big Mamas.💋 —

first time mamas, seasoned mamas, unconventional mamas, solo mamas, healing mamas, figuring-it-out-as-we-go mamas

— get to tell the truth.

Not the highlight reel. Not gratitude posts.

Not the performative softness that makes everyone around us comfortable with our struggle.

That Real, Raw Truth.

The truths we say at night after we’ve held it together all day.

The ones we write in our notes app at 2am, when the baby is finally asleep but we’re too wired to rest.

The ones we’ve been keeping tucked because nobody made it safe to say them out loud.

This is THAT safe place…we’ll begin here and dive even deeper in The Booth.🎙🌹

I’ll go first because that’s what I do here.

I go first, so you know it’s safe to join me.

I am a first time mother; who’s unconventional in almost every way.

A Stay at Home Mom, who is also building something — for us, for our future, for the version of my son who looks back one day and sees his mother chose herself and him at the same damn time.

I am a Creative Mompreneur, who some days can’t tell where the brand ends and the survival begins.

I am a Black Woman, who became a mother and had to figure out, almost all of it alone.

And I have stories.

Real ones. Heavy ones. Funny ones.

The kind that makes you say, “Oh thank God, it’s not just me.” 🙌🏽

This series is going to go places that Black Motherhood content doesn’t usually go.

We’re going to talk about Postpartum Depression and Rage — because THEY ARE BOTH REAL ASF and nobody warned us. Instead, they ignored their experiences and expected us to do the same…but what’s new there. 😒

We’re going to talk about me going no contact as a first time mom — because protecting your child sometimes means protecting them from the exact people who hurt you.

We’re going to talk about building something from nothing while raising someone who is watching everything.

We’re going to talk about the village that showed up and “the village” that didn’t.

We’re going to tell the truth about what it actually costs to be a Black Mother in the world — and what it gives back when you stop performing it and start living it.

This is not a parenting blog.

This is not an advice column.

This is not “here’s how I healed my motherhood journey in five steps.”

This is a confessional.

A Living Diary.

A Stussette where Black Mothers get to be human first, and everything else second.

If you’re a Big Mama.💋 — however that looks for you — this one is yours.

Pull up a chair.

Put the baby down for a second.

Roll or pour whatever you desire to.

Imma pack my bong, pour me some Stella Rosa and let’s tell the truth together.

The Stu door is open. All Big Mamas are welcome. 💋

🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: Big Momma Thang by Lil Kim

Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:

• A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?

• I created a Big Mama Stater Chat here in The Stu but we’ll dive even deeper in The Booth.🎙🌹 Either way, I am here to read and respond. Just be sure to share with yourself in mind, especially in the Subscriber Chat please. It’s not as protected as The Booth.🎙🌹

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You Always, Big Mama.🌹