Before HerDiaryStudiio, There Was Survival.
On failed businesses, repeated heartbreak, and the moment I realized I needed a space to unmask too.
HerDiaryStudiio is the manifestation of many failures that I stopped giving a fuck about. š¹
Thatās me making light of the trauma, but listenā¦in all seriousness, in these 31 years, Iāve lived many lives already. Lives full of sharp turns. Ups and downs. Fails and triumphs. The kind of seasons that make you look back and wonder how many versions of yourself had to die just so this one could breathe.
Iāve had multiple heartbreaks from attracting the same energy in different vessels. Different faces. Different names. Same lesson knocking on my door again and again.
At the time, I didnāt know how to listen to my intuitionā¦not really but really. My childhood trauma had turned the volume down so low that my inner voice sounded like background noise.
I confused chaos with chemistry. I confused familiarity with alignment.
Therefore, I kept repeating patterns that felt like home, even when āhomeā was the place that hurt me first.
I also failed at a lot of businesses and when I say a lot, I mean a lot.
I took the courses.
I bought the programs.
I followed everyone elseās blueprint.
Everybodyās plan but my own.
I kept trying to force myself into structures that looked successful from the outside but felt suffocating on the inside. I was trying to build something real using instructions that had nothing to do with who I actually was.
Thatās the part nobody really talks about when they talk about entrepreneurship. The quiet grief of realizing you were trying to become someone else just to feel worthy of success.
Hereās something you probably would find hard to believe but my relationships with other women werenāt always healthy either.
I had extremely toxic friendships with women that slowly shaped me into someone I didnāt recognize. Somewhere along the way, I became a pick-me in certain spaces. I became insensitive to other womenās experiences. I was operating from wounds I hadnāt acknowledged yet.
My parental trauma was sitting quietly in the background of my life, influencing everything.
And I mean EVERYTHING!!!!
My parental wounds spilled into every relationship I entered, both platonic and romantic, because I refused to address them directly in the name of āfamily.ā Even though, if Iām being honest, I never truly had one in the way people describe it. For a long time, I tried to protect the idea of family more than I protected myself and eventually that started breaking me down. I almost didnāt make it.
So yeahā¦ Iām spilling all my tea today.
Not because Iām trying to trauma dump or shock anyone.
Not because Iām trying to play the victim either.
Iām sharing this because I need you to innerstand something clearly:
I am not here trying to guide or lead anybody.
HerDiaryStudiio is not a pulpit.
Itās not a place where one woman stands at the front pretending she has life perfectly figured out while everyone else sits quietly taking notes.
That was never the vision.
HerDiaryStudiio is a safe, private, intentional space to unmask that Black Women deserve.
Another truth is, I created this space because I need it too.
Right now, in this season of my life, I am still growing through some things. Some deep, life-altering things. The kind of growth that forces you to confront parts of yourself you used to run from.
And sometimes what I want more than anything is simple; I want some Aligned, Black & Unmasked Girlfriends!
Black Women who can fully relate to me.
Black Women who can hold space for my truths.
Black Women who are not afraid of my unmasked, unfiltered self because they are learning how to show up the same way.
Black Women who are tired of performing.
Black Women who are ready to exhale.
Thatās the energy Iām calling in.
Now donāt get me wrong, I have plenty of wisdom. Life has definitely handed me a few gems along the way and Iām not afraid to share them. The privacy tier are for that wisdom but more than anything, Iām ready for Grown Woman Friendships.
The kind where we can talk about healing without pretending weāre healed.
The kind where accountability exists without shame.
The kind where a Black Woman can say āIām still figuring some things outā and nobody rushes to label her broken or anything.
HerDiaryStudiio is my way of creating that kind of room.
A room where we donāt have to perform strength every second of the day.
A room where the masks can come off slowly and easily.
A room where we can finally be seen without immediately being asked to be strong.
If youāre here reading this, maybe youāve been searching for that kind of space too.
If thatās the caseā¦
Welcome to the Stu, Black Woman. ā„ļø
š§ Her Channelled Frequency: Best Friend by Brandy
Reminders from The Stu. šµš¹:
A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how old were you or where were when you first heard the song?
A question for you, if you feel safe answering š
When was the moment you realized you were performing strength instead of actually feeling supported?
Was it in a friendship?
A relationship?
Your family?
Or maybe even at work?
You donāt have to share everything here. Just speak what feels true.
This space was created so Black Women could start telling the truth about their lives without having to shrink, perform, or pretend.
Eye am listening. šÆļø
Please only take what resonates, leave what doesnāt.
Eye Love You Always, Black Woman. š¹
During a time where third spaces are so vital to us as a community, I thank you for intentionally creating a space for people like us, Black Women, to show up, whole or broken, and be embraced by safe company. There arenāt m(any) places that center our wellbeing and healing without some sort of paywall or cover$, and Iām with you that truth and safe spaces are needed for the collective healing, so we can let go and finally be free.
Sending love,
Lo