Did He Tell You?

⚠️ Trigger Warning: This piece contains themes of sexual assault, homelessness, and depression. Please read with care and come back when you're ready.

2020 was the true beginning of my Spiritual Journey. It’s when I got serious about making my life look the way that I WANTED vs. what someone else wanted for me, even if what I didn’t what they really meant like I do today.

In 2020, one night changed everything. What started as an assault became a “secret” he told before I could — and by the time I found my voice, I’d already lost my stability, once again, and nearly myself.

I quit that job. I sank into depression. I got put out and, Covid hit the same week so, I literally hit the pavement. Nevertheless, I had my “good-girlfriend” and that stimmy was littttt so I was hotel-hopping with someone whose plans for me I didn’t fully innerstand until I was almost too deep to see clearly…but thanks to God, I did see and I GOT TF OUTTA THERE!

This poem is about what he took, but it’s also about what he couldn’t.

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Did He Tell You?

Did he tell you, eye was drunk?

Did he tell you, eye said no?

Did he tell you, eye pushed him off?

Did he tell you, he said “GO!”?

He caught me in the shower and he came in unannounced

Then, he went and told the world, so it’s hard to denounce.

Even months later, the effects eye still see.

Can’t trust a fucking soul...sometimes, not even me.

He took something else from me, didn’t realize that he did.

“It was just sex.”

Is what eye repeated because my body responded…

Eye lost my voice before — but now eye’m just numb.

Still fulfilling my purpose because eye WILL NOT succumb!

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I wrote this poem on July 7, 2020. I was getting settled into a new space and starting my first business (Sensually Aligned Collections) after all of the danger and trauma I had experienced, and the only way I felt safe enough to express what happened to me was through this poem. This is healing in real time. Now, I am healed enough to share it with you. I truly hope what I'm sharing reaches someone who needs it — because allowing myself to share is healing parts of me I thought I'd buried deep enough to never find again. Eye Love You Always. Eye Love ME Always! - Paris Abundance.

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🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: Born Tired

Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.

Eye Love You Always, Black Woman. 🪷