This is the last flame and I want to end this the way I began…
Transparent.
So after telling all my business in these 5 Flames, I almost didn’t write Flame 006…because shame is sneaky like that.
Even when you’re burning shit down —
it finds ways to make you hesitate.
To second guess and ask yourself,
“Are you sure you’re ready for this?”
But today…I’m sure.
I was taught to hide in the quiet, consistent ways that left no visible scars but reshaped EVERYTHING inside of me.
I was conditioned to hide anything that made anyone uncomfortable.
My anger.
My intelligence.
The neurodivergence nobody ever named but policed.
My sexuality.
My Magic —
the singing,
the creating,
the designing,
the modeling just for fun,
the way I could disappear for hours into a video game. 🤓 lmao.
All of it.
Hidden.
Managed.
Contained.
So, that someone else could stay comfortable in the presence of my smallness.
And shame moved in where my fullness used to be.
It’s good at that.
Shame doesn’t announce itself.
It just starts narrating.
“You’re different and different is wrong…hide that.”
“Don’t let them see your truest self, they’ll make fun of you.”
“What will people think, I do this my way?”
And you listen, because shame was the secret voice that stuck and defined you who you were.
But here’s another thing I want to share with you as we close this shit,
Shame only has power when it has an audience.
When you perform with it or let it sit in the director’s chair of your movie.
I love myself enough to say, I have been letting Shame direct my life for way too long!
And who benefits when I feel ashamed?
Everyone but me.
Everyone who needs me to be smaller for them to feel “big.”
Everyone who needs me to be quiet to seem heard.
Everyone who is rooting for me to fail, so they never have to face their own reflection.
BUT NO MORE !
Today and Forever, I am removing shame as the director and cast of MY movie.
It doesn’t get a credit.
It doesn’t get a callback.
It doesn’t even get a thank you for it’s presence.
IT’S SIMPLE BITCH, YOU ARE FIRED INDEFINITELY. 🖕🏽
What am I still holding gently?
That Little Black Girl: BabyGirl. Judiee. Trina Monroe.
Who hid her voice, her mind, her pain, and her magic,
because nobody made it safe for her to be all of those things.
Yes, she is still processing.
Still healing.
Still remembering who she is before the world told her who to be.
And I, Paris Abundance, am holding her the way nobody has ever held her before.
Carefully.
Honestly.
Without condition or judgement.
And with me, She knows that she doesn’t have to perform anymore.
Most importantly, she knows that she is safe.
What truth am I ready to live — not just write?
The truth of All of Me, Unapologetically.
Not the version that’s easy to digest.
Not the version that makes the room comfortable before I am.
Not the version that fits neatly into someone else’s narrative.
ALL OF ME.
The neurodivergent, singing, creating,
sensual, sovereign, fluid, rebellious,
God Ordained, High Priestess
who shows up in this realm AND THE NEXT, exactly as she was designed to be.
I am not a rough draft.
I am not a secret to keep or a fire to contain.
I am the whole thing. I AM EVERYTHING.
And I am done living like I apologize for it,
because after this ritual, I DON’T!
So, the ritual is complete…
but the healing isn’t finished — healing actually has just begun,
but if you DID YOU YOUR WORK,
You burned the silence.
You named the performed self.
You faced the guilt narrative.
You traced the inherited expectations.
You released the devotion to pain.
And now — you’ll burn the shame script for the last time.
Hopefully, seeing yourself a little clearer and feeling a lot lighter, so you may move forward in your journey more prepared to face yourself, if no one else.
And what’s left after the fire?
All of You.
Unmasked.
Unscripted.
Unbothered by who couldn’t hold your fullness.
Returning — finally, fully — to yourself.
and hopefully, able to say,
“She was here first.
And she’s still here because I BURNED THAT SHIT DOWN.”
That’s the whole point.
And If you need some extra support,
I’ve been working behind the scenes, creating some very intentional offerings that I’ll drop here by the end of week and but it’ll be in my “close friends” before then
If you are a Black Woman DOING HERE WORK, apply to The Booth.🎙🌹 here:
Join the HerDiaryStudiio: The Booth.🎙🌹 Discord Server!
p.s. yes, apply because I did say, I CREATE PRIVATE AND PROTECTED SPACES FOR BLACK WOMEN ONLY, didn’t I?! I also need to feel out your innergy before you enter our sacred space.
Either way, Eye love you for Free, Black Woman. 🌹 and that’s not just something I say. I mean it! These safe spaces are YOURS, whether you dive deeper or not because WE ALL deserve somewhere to land and freely be without anyone needing us.
Thank you for Burning Shit Down with Me. ❤️🔥
Flame 006: The Come Down Prompts. 📝🔥
I am share the last Deep Dive prompts with everyone. Check the others when you’re ready. This only works if you’re honest with yourself. ☕️ :
Now, that you’ve burned it all, What no longer resonates with you…even if it once felt like home?
Who are you now that you’re no longer holding onto it?
Don’t Rush Your Answers. Sit with Each, Breathe and then, Write.
Not the version you say out loud.
THE REAL ONE.
🎧 Her Channelled Frequency: Rose in Harlem by Auntie Tey
This one has always hit home for me. It’s like she’s narrating my life 😅 because IT REALLY BE THEM ONESSSS ! The Ones You Aspire To Be. Your Mama. Your Big Cousin. Your Grandma. Your Favorite “Celebrity or Influencer”. Yeah, the ones who you blindly support but have no clue who they are behind the screen. Them ones you’ve made your Idol…and our “idols” will disappoint you every time; because your only idol should be YOUR HIGHER SELF.
As a Black Woman, it should NO REASON that you are out here idolizing anybody more than yourself! Listening to anyone more than yourself. Trusting anyone’s judgement FOR YOUR LIFE more than your own. DO YOU KNOW WHO ARE?!
If not, let me remind you, YOU ARE GOD’S PURE REFLECTION!
She created YOU, specifically with her image, likeness AND POWER in mind. She creates everything in this world to remind you of your rank on this earth no matter what any meer mortal has to say! YOU ARE A CREATOR OF LIFE, WHETHER YOU ARE A MOTHER OR NOT. YOU CAPTURE THE INNERGY OF EVERYONE BY SIMPLY STEPPING INTO THE ROOM. THE ENTIRE WORLD ASPIRES TO BE AND LOOK SOMEONE LIKE YOU.
THEY CAN’T FUCKING MOVE, LIVE OR EVOLVE WITHOUT US! STOP PLAYING SMALL, STOP THINKING SMALL BECAUSE AIN’T SHIT SMALL ABOUT YOU…AS A BLACK WOMAN, IT’S IN YOU NOT ON YOU.
SO ACT LIKE IT!
Okay, that message wasn’t my plan for today but you know, if you’re open to God using you SHE WILL. SHE DID and clearly someone needs it today. Anywho, Thank You Again for Burning Shit Down with me! Even if you didn’t yet and you’ve just been taking the time to read more art, Thank You. This my dream and I am so grateful to see that DOING MY WORK is bringing so many other Black Women who can resonate with me. Eye Love You and Thank You Again, Black Woman. 🌹
Reminders from The Stu. 🎵🌹:
Each entry in this ritual will come with correlating “Flame Prompts” to take with you as you intentional Burn Shit Down at your own pace.
A channelled frequency is just that. So when listening think more experience, moods and senses than the artist, their dealings and backgrounds. For example, how do you feel, how old were you when you first listened or where are when you hear the song?
“Ritual”, here in The Stu, means a purposeful, step-by-step experience you do with intention to create a real inner shift, not just a bunch of pointless posts.
Please only take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.
Eye Love You Always, Black Woman. 🌹